Smooshy Face Stress Balls
/smooshy-face-stress-balls-2610.jpg "Smooshy Face Stress Balls")
- Shotgun Beer Can Opener - $4.97
- Smash-It Egg Yolk Stress Relief - $4.90
- Masochism Mat - $19.95
- Stress Cupcake - $6.43
- Herbal Vaporizer - $31.95
Feeling stressed? Anxious? Aggressive? Don't take it out on the nonnative English speaker administering over-the-phone tech support, take it out on Ge!, Ni!, Ho!, and Poo! Cao Marus are smooshy Japanese stress relievers with alluringly messed up names, faces, and textures. The family of four was forged from polyurethane, and molded with expressions lifted directly from hidden camera footage acquired in men's room toilet stalls. Squish and contort their fugly mugs into fuglier mugs, and feel the drudgery of a Monday, or the tension of a lost vie for the last pre-wrapped egg salad sandwich dissipate.
True Mirror - How Others See You
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Your Face Mask
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/your-face-custom-face-masks-43878.jpg?mode=crop "Your Face Custom Face Masks")
Your Face Custom Face Masks
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Dapper Celebrity Soldier Prints
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/from-delightful-to-disturbing-50063.jpg?mode=crop "From Delightful to Disturbing: 15 Personalized Gifts")
From Delightful to Disturbing: 15 Personalized Gifts
WARNING: A couple of the personalized gifts in my 15-strong collection of personalized gifts aren't just disturbing, they're a little NSFW. And the last one is both very disturbing and very NSFW. Because when I say "personalized...
/pop-it-pal-pimple-popping-31252.jpg?mode=crop "Pop It Pal Pimple Popping Simulator")
Pop It Pal Pimple Popping Simulator
Long to be poppin' zits like a G6? Look no further than the Pop It Pal Pimple Popping Simulator. Even with the teen acne days behind you, and most of those juicy back zits juuust out of reach, this fleshy, pus-filled...
/25inch-inflatable-you-30237.jpg "25inch Inflatable You")
25inch Inflatable You
25inch is blow-up doll meets...your face. Is it cool or weird to own a 2-foot-tall inflatable replica of yourself? If you think cool, 25inch.me invites you to grab your favorite headshot and upload it for transformation...
Personalized Freak Masks
While Firebox will personalize these Freak Masks with your own face, or the face in any photo you upload and send them, I smell a branding opportunity here for hip-hop artist Ski Mask the Slump God. Ski masks of Ski Mask...
Your Face on an Animal Cookie
You've had your face on a stamp. On a superhero action figure. Even on a super creepy mask worn by someone who is not you. But I th
Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay
The reviews of Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay - over 1,000 of them! - are so overwhelmingly positive it makes me wonder how I've never before heard of these miraculous bentonite particulates of the earth. Maybe I was...