Crime Scene Beach Towel

TRITON, the human gills design concept I showed you dudes here 2 years ago (and which many of you had mucho to say about in our comments section) is running a crowdfunding campaign to actually produce the equipment. TRITONs...

A couple of giant Human Burrito Blankets will make sure your Tortilla Baby knows who Mommy and Daddy are. At 5' in diameter, I'd be able to roll up one fine bean, cheese, rice, and man meat burrito in this flour tortilla...

I would like it very much if CGear's Sand-Free Multimat stayed sand-free by emitting an invisible dome barrier that repelled...no, forcefully rejected all granular compounds...and children...that got within a foot of...

Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...

Your wingman for summer has arrived. Well...its crowdfunding campaign has anyway. Like the Coolest Cooler before it, the SunDen hit Kickstarter this week seeking to consolidate and elevate, optimize and smartify all facets...

Jesus will have nothing on you if you just buy this ball. You'll be walking on water in no time. It looks like it would be a huge pain in the ass to blow it up though. I know my pack a day habit would make it very difficult...

What's better than a magic carpet ride? A big magical unicorn pool float. A giant pink flamingo party raft. A huge and handsome floating peacock island. All big enough to bob you and 5 of your best buds around the lake...

My collection of strange, silly, and standout swimwear is for dudes and ladies who march to the beach of their own drum. Sun bums who aren't just ready for, but who crave the double-takes and ogles they'll get from everyone...

Though most people would probably rather get burnt by the sun than bitten by a shark, both injuries are pretty bad these days. Take your pick on which one leads to a slow, tortuous death, or having flesh ripped away from...

The best men's slides are boxed and ready to walk you right into summer. Right 'round the beach and pool. Right down the street on a beer run free of wool socks and a down jacket. And, oh yeah, right into the fetid shower...

I bet this is the only bathrobe on Amazon--no, on the planet!--that has 121 customer reviews! 121 reviews! 159 if you count its second listing here. 159 reviews*! Of a bathrobe. I know it's a Jedi bathrobe and it has...

Who wants a ride on the Golden Boy? Don't worry, when you put your lips to this pool float's inflation nozzle you'll see it swells to a formidable 79 inches long (holy crap, Ron Jeremy!) with an extra thick construction...