Hand Knit Adult Onesies
- Adult Busy Beaver Costume - $69.99
- Plush Flying Squirrel Onesie - $29.99
- Adult Panda Pajama Onesie - $22.95
- Lycra Zentai Unitard Catsuit for Adults - $26.99
Happy Monday, cold people and penitents ready to level up your hair shirts! Strickolino has some hand knit adult onesies for you. Super chunky hand knit adult onesies. Like, chunkier than Skippy Extra Crunchy, the pico de gallo at Nacho Baby's, Ursula the Sea Witch, and an LA face with an Oakland booty combined. Why risk getting tangled up in an extra large, extra chunky knit blanket, when you can turn that blanket into a sick, custom-sized jumpsuit that makes you look like NASA just landed at Grandma's house?
Strickolino makes the onesies in a few different styles and yarns, including standouts "Itchy and Scratchy" and "12KG." In case you're wondering what those terms mean in this context, "Itchy and Scratchy" indicates the yarn used in knitting these jumpsuits will make wearing them feel like 1 million tiny gnats are taking turns biting you all over your body. As you try in vain to swat them away, the feeling will intensify. "12KG" means this chunky MF weighs 12 F'ing kilograms. That's 26.5 pounds for those who don't get shock value when delivered in the metric system.
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Lightsaber Willy Warmer
This Lightsaber Willy Warmer might be the finest expression of Grandmas's yarn I ever saw. Not a bad tribute to Star Wars either, presuming you've mastered The Force well enough to wield this saber once it's fired up...
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VIA Waterproof Knit Shoes
VIA Knit Shoes are treated with a Nano-Tech Membrane that repels both water and dirt for up to 2 hours of tromping around in mud puddles on a rainy spring day. They're also convertible sneaks, with fold-over flaps that...
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Extra Large Extra Chunky Knit Blanket
As the great Sloth once said, I love you, Chunk! And I do. Love these extra large, extra chunky knit blankets. All wool and cozy. All bedspread- and Super-Mario-Bros.-3-Giant-Land-size. My only concern is that ESENIQUE...
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Vessi 100% Waterproof Knit Shoes
Vessi's forthcoming knit shoes bring a lightweight sneaker style to the water-deflecting powers of your rain boots. Vessi says their Flash Knit technology will keep the shoes 100% waterproof - and your feet 100% dry up...
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Men's Dino Hood
Mr. Stegosaurus, what soft scales you have. The better to nuzzle you with, my dear. And Mr. Stegosaurus, what flappy spikes you have. The better not to impale you with, my dear. And Mr. Stegosaurus, what hipster-humanlike...
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Ohhio Braid Blankets & Accessories
We've seen chunkity-chunk chunky knit blankets before, and through her Ohhio design shop Anna Mo continues the trend with her own inviting series of braided merino wool cuddle-uppers. Ohhio also knits fat yarn and oversized...
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Nose Warmers
Although a bit strange, Krystyna Dulinska's nose warmers are also a bit adorable. Especially the ones she crochets into animals, such as tigers and koalas and, my favorite, the sheep. Two wood stick thumbs up for the...
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Glow in the Dark Yarn
Yep, Glow in the Dark Yarn and Little Green Knit Men go together like dudes and rugs, a TikTok influencer and sponsored videos, dropped ice cream cones and crying kids. But if I had a ball of Glow in the Dark Yarn, a...
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Crochet Converse Slippers
Crochet Converse Slippers! A great big foot hug from Grandma and Chuck Taylor! These handmade yarn booties come in colors and sizes suitable for men, women, and children, so they'd make an all-star gift for an athlete...
Cable Knit Armchair Slipcover
Hmmm, ummm, just...hmmm. A cable knit slipcover, huh? I guess on the one hand it looks cozy, but on the other it looks...itchy. Also like if you sit on it for more than 5 minutes you're going to have that diamond and...
Baby Frankenstein Hat
Obviously I like this Frankenstein hat because it represents the true nature of babies: scary mish-mashes of tiny monster parts stitched together into wiggly, fluid-projectile-ejecting beings that terrify me. Though seemingly...