11 Subversive Gifts for People You Don't Like Much

For entitled teens and grads and adult children who are all, "Gimme, gimme, gimme!" No courtesy, no appreciation, no attention span? Then no money, son!

This DaVinci Code-style cryptex, which must be solved before the goods inside are accessible, will likely return hours of: chuckles at first sight; realization that the quest to code-crack the giver's choice of 5-letter words is on; 6 to 12 minutes of giddy fun testing and turning the Puzzle Pod's rings; 2 to 3 minutes of gentle frustration, followed by another 2 to 3 minutes of polite requests just to reveal the correct combination; and 65 to 105 minutes of escalating irritation, culminating in throwing the cryptex out the window...and then scrambling to retrieve it, along with a sledgehammer, because after all, there is money inside.

For the bro who's a little too bro-ey, or the bachelor having a party to celebrate his pending marriage to your one true love. Dissolving Swim Shorts are woven with special thread that disintegrates when exposed to water, probably slowly enough that the wearer will have time to get out of the swimsuit before it turns into a birthday suit, but then again, being submerged in water can mess with your senses, and being 3 margaritas in and submerged in water definitely messes with your senses, so they may not even notice their swim shorts are dissolving until crack, cock, and balls have already made their appearance.

For the obnoxious, demanding soon-to-be Momzilla cousin who put you in charge of decorations for her baby shower.

They say it's a nondescript "4' inflatable zombie baby," but I'm pretty sure it's Petyr from What We Do in the Shadows. Or maybe The Master from Buffy. Or maybe the lovechild of them both. Speaking of which, this super creepy yard decoration looks a lot more like a 4' inflatable vampire baby than a 4' inflatable zombie baby to me. Unless it's a zombie vampire, which, I'm not really sure how that would work since vampires turn to dust when they die, and would therefore have no corpse for witchcraft or a manmade virus to revive.

For your MIL, obv. Slip it over the Barefoot Contessa cookbook your wife got her when no one's looking.

The Best Cities to Visit with Assholes & In-Laws Book Jacket is sold book-less for use as a hilarious gag gift. And it doesn't just come with a flash of funny - the front artwork and faux book title - it sees the joke through with more art, and a silly blurb and excerpt, on its back covers too.

Additional prank book jackets in the series include: Metropolitan Pubic Art, 101 Ways to Avoid Love & Affection, Killing with Kale and Other Farm-to-Funeral Foods, and Communicating with Silent Farts.

For Dad, who's forever picking his teeth and then setting down his used toothpick on shared surfaces. Here's a different kind of "wood stick" for ya, old man.

Texas Toothpick is a euphemism for this 2-pronged S-curve's true nature and intent. I almost selected it as the next edition of What Is This Thing? but decided its application isn't discrete or practical enough to make it a fair pick. But still, you're probably wondering, "Uh, what is this thing?"

Those from the South might recognize it, and its Texas Toothpick name, but for everyone else, this is an authentic (and sterilized) penile bone from a large American raccoon. It is roughly 5" long. Compared to the size of the raccoon itself - and remember this is just the bone, not the whole boner - that's pretty rockstar. Or rather, porn star.