14 Must Have Eats While Under Quarantine

Chicken + buffalo + thin & crisp chip = Wilde! Made of chicken, flavored like buffalo (or barbecue, jalapeno, pink salt, salt & vinegar, Nashville hot seasoning, or chicken & waffles) and sliced and cooked into wavy, wafer-like rounds, Wilde Chicken Chips are protein-packed healthy snacks fit for any King of the Munchies.

A combination of chicken bits, tapioca flour, coconut oil, and some seasonings that pound your tongue in a good way, Wilde Chicken Chips are a grain- and gluten-free alternative to potato chips. They are also paleo- and keto-friendly, and pack 14 grams of protein into each 2.25-ounce bag (listed as 2 servings, 170 calories per). Not a bad substitute on those quarantined nights you don't feel like roasting your own bird, and the delivery app is telling you it will be 55 minutes to get a rotisserie chicken to your door.

You won't be flying nowhere no time soon, but you can enjoy the tray table snacks some airlines hand out with a pile of Biscoff Cookies to keep in your cabinet. The listing here includes 3 packages of the crunchy, brown-buttery delectable dipping biscuits, which equates to 96 stamped and stylized rectangles of Biscoff bliss. And since you're not greedy like the airlines, you can even serve yourself up more than the allotted 2 per flight through the kitchen.

Iberico Ham is an indulgence, to be sure, but if you're one of the lucky SOBs who is still working full-time from home (and you are a lucky SOB) maybe some of those hundos you're saving from not going out to dinner should have this acorn-fed Spanish swine's name on them.

This side of 100% Iberico de Bellota Ham weighs in at 16 to 18 pounds of pure cured meat delight. As with most large-scale Iberico Ham purchases, this piggy buddy also comes with a wood and stainless steel ham holder and knife, both doubling as utilitarian slicing wingmen and crowd-pleasing display pieces.

You have stumbled upon the end of a rainbow. Jack. Pot. Your days of wasting 15 minutes of your months-long quarantine crouched over the cereal bowl picking out all the boring healthy brown bits from Lucky Charms are about to be as over as Tom Brady's glory years!

Some kind manufacturer or child laborer has completed the tedious task of toasted-oat extraction for you, and packaged just the cereal's immaculate clouds of dehydrated marshmallow bliss. Even better: no more 12oz box bullcrap. This fat mass of pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes comes man-sized in an 8-pound bag.

I don't know how you feel about pork rinds or cracklings, or snacks that describe themselves as "artisanal," but I tried paleo and keto diet champion brand Epic's new artisanal pork rinds a few weeks ago, and they were porking deee-licious.

Highest marks go to the Sea Salt & Pepper and Chili Lime flavors.

Sure, you can buy pre-made pasta at the grocery store, or order it online. (Well, theoretically you can. Noodles have been going almost as fast as toilet paper at my local and virtual retailers.) But why not devote a few of your housebound hours to homemade pasta? Try satiating your fettuccine hankerings by learning how to make it yourself?

Don't worry, with the Philips Automatic Pasta Maker automatic is the key word; you won't have to do too much learning. It's kind of like a bread machine (or an Indian roti machine!) but for pasta. Just dump your flour and water and whatever else goes into succulent strands of spaghetti or toothsome tubes of penne into the Philips Pasta Maker, and it will take care of the mixing, kneading, and extruding steps of the noodles' creation, spurting out a pound of fresh pasta ready for boiling in about 15 minutes.

Omaha Steaks has a number of meaty-licious mail order assortments available for online purchase, I like the irony of what they call the Welcome Home Combo. Maybe they should temporarily change it to the Welcome Home...Like You've Been Anywhere Else! Combo. Selections include filet mignons, top sirloins, boneless chicken breasts, steak burgers, and jumbo franks.

Die happy - whether it's from coronavirus or ripe old age - when you die having tried TRUFF White Truffle Hot Sauce. The limited release blends jalapenos with the elusive pig-detected mushroom, plus adds white truffle oil, organic agave nectar, and a hint of organic coriander to embolden its savory flavor.

They say quality over quantity, but when you're sheltering in place for Willy Wonka knows how long, I say you deserve both. This 10-pound Toblerone Bar is a splurge, sure, but given the mountain range of fine Swiss chocolate, honey, and almond nougat contains 45, 100-gram servings, that's really only $3 a day to make your belly happy. And your belly, dudes, might be the only body part you truly have a shot at making happy right now, 'eh?