Dude's Must See Products for December 2021

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy...no wait, that's not it. Maker, Tinkerer, Crafter, Hobbyist. You're the subject of today's gift guide. And, unlike the aforementioned Gary Oldman film, it's a gift guide that has nothing to do with the Cold War. It is a thriller though, with 18 gifts handpicked by this dude to feed the craving you, or those on your gift list, regularly feel to build, design, and create.

Previously I would have thought it rude for you to have a candy bar and not share it with me. But now that I see Fits & Giggles' rude candy bar wrapper mashups - Twat! Dick! Shithead! Rugmuncher! Ole Fuckface! And the very best, THUNDERCUNT! - I might be more insulted if you did offer it up.

Haha, no, you're right. I would love it even more!

And by "DIY gifts" I don't mean do-it-yourself gifts you do yourself, but do-it-yourself gifts you give them to do themselves. See, not such a bad gift guide after all, is it?

If you've got someone on your gift list who believes, no matter what it is - from home repairs to full home renovations, a kid's RC car to an adult's broken-down truck, or a yard in disarray to an empty plot of land that needs a lil' somethin' - they can build it, fix it, and/or make it better, my roundup of 18 DIY gifts for 2021 is the place for you.

FryAway is a quick-congeal powder that turns cooking oil from liquid to semi-solid as it cools. The company says it makes it much easier and cleaner to toss oil in the garbage, and eliminates the urge to pour any amount of it down the drain.

FryAway is 100% plant-based and non-toxic. To use it, sprinkle some into an oil-filled pan after cooking, when the oil is still warm, stir it up, and then wait for the oil to cool. Then scoop the gelatinous mass that remains into your trash can.

Perhaps not all of us are in the splurging spirit - or giving spirit at all - this year, but not all of my 17 luxury gifts for 2021 are profanely unaffordable. Some of their prices, such as the Titanium Beer Mugs pictured above, are just mildly offensive. Others are expensive, but their costs reflect their quality, or the item itself, such as the Snow Peak Living Lodge. It will run you a couple grand, but could be considered a gift for the whole family.

This line of Nostalgia with a Twist of Darkness T-Shirts comes from the dark and nostalgic mind of artist Steven Rhodes. I've included some of my favorites in the images above, but there are dozens more to choose from, some of which are too black and occult in their humor even for me. T-Shirts with "Let's Sacrifice Toby," "My First Knife Fight," and "Learn About Subtraction," each with corresponding images of children doing things no one, especially children, should be doing immediately come to mind.

If you know someone who champions breakfast (i.e., the most important meal of the day.) If you know someone who's a champion breakfast eater (i.e., won the Baconfest World Bacon Eating Championship.) If you know someone who eats a breakfast of champions (i.e., Pop Tarts washed down with chocolate milk...maybe a beer if it's the weekend.) Then take a look at what I have for you: 18 champion gifts for these people, these people who love breakfast.

How much has the world...wide web changed since 2014? Martin Vargic maps it out in stunning detail in his latest Map of the Internet update, appropriately titled Map of the Internet 2021.

It wasn't deliberate, but turns out these 14 sustainable gift ideas aren't just eco-friendly products ready to be wrapped and presented to all the environmentally conscious cats on your Christmas list this year, many of them are also great buys for yourself. And by that I mean almost all of these sustainable gifts will aid you in your holiday hosting duties, be it a Christmas Eve game night, Christmas dinner, or the big New Year's Eve party. So whether you give them to make merry, or use them to make your own merry, here are some ideas to help you make peace - not plastic - on Earth, dude.

Welp, I'll give Dripstick credit for one thing: it puts on no heirs when it calls itself a "cum sponge." Yeesh. That description makes the Sperm Towel seem downright prude.

To expand upon the Dripstick's cum sponge description, what we have here is a soft, medical-grade sponge on a stick made to soak up post-coital fluids from the vaginal canal. Kind of like a tampon for semen, I guess. The Bounty Quicker Picker Upper of after-sex cleanup.

The only thing I like to shovel is food, into my mouth, so I am very happy to see the Snowbot autonomous snowblower making its way (in a haze of white powder!) to market. A Roomba-style robot for the outdoors, the Snowbot S1 is intended for home use, designed to keep your driveway, yard, and sidewalk free of snow. The best part: you don't even have to step outside to use it.

What makes Ultimate Toys' Ultimate Camper so...ultimate? Well, the teardrop trailer comes with a shower-equipped bathroom, a convertible queen-sized bed, not one, but two kitchens, and, of course, the Ultimate branding and marketing.

The heading says "Wolf & Grizzly Fire Safe - Portable, Foldable Fire Pit," so what the hunk of metal are you actually looking at in this dude's hand? It's the fire pit. For real. Wolf & Grizzly's Fire Safe consists of a stainless steel insert and frame, and the two separate and fold down to the flat, headboard-shaped object you see here. It's less than 2" thick, and weighs just under 2.2 pounds. The foldable fire pit also comes with its own carry case - so it won't poke anything else in your pack - with extra room for matches, tinder, and other fire-starting needs.

A Car Window Breaker Bracelet. That's a bracelet with a glass breaker charm for busting open car windows. What a great emergency rescue tool for drivers to always have on hand / wrist!

And conversely, what a great break-in tool for car thieves and looters to always have on hand / wrist!

Remember, Car Window Breaker Bracelet, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

What would you call Stephan Schmitz's adorTable concrete coffee tables? Deteriorated beauty? Post-apocalyptic design? Earthquake chic? This hyper-industrial, busted-up look isn't normally the type of furniture I'd go for - I'm more of a cushy couch one can lie on for hours, maybe days, kind of guy - but I have to admit Schmitz's raw construction material creations are stunning. They don't even look cold or unwelcoming paired with the other interior design elements they're shown with (good on whomever set up those shots) they just look great.

Great...but also hazardous in terms of toe-stubbing and trying to maneuver around when drunk.