Dude's Must See Products for March 2022

The Designer Bong by Session Goods seeks to be your "beautiful, functional, and unapologetically simple" smoking companion. To bring you a little joy and a little indulgence, without making you feel illicit or taboo. In other words, this is one classy water pipe.

Session Goods takes your smoking pleasure seriously, in both experience and aesthetics. Their bong's fresh, modern design features silicone footers, grommets, and tabs in your choice of muted white, gray, and black, or standout nods to Roy G Biv. The silicone accents highlight the pipe's base and mouthpiece, while the bong, bowl, and downstem keep things clear with high quality borosilicate glass. Overall, the Designer Bong presents itself as a fine - smokin' fine, I might say - piece of minimalist paraphernalia you'd be proud to display in your living room.

Cover up your bad hair, and score yourself some evil glares with Uncle Bekah's Inappropriate Trucker Hats. Mama may have told you if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, but Uncle Bekah believes if you don't have anything nice to say, "Put it on a hat."

Inappropriate Trucker hats run the gamut of inappropriateness in both potency and topic. We start with "This Band Sucks" and "I Hate Working Here," and end up at "Stop Staring at My FUPA," "I Bleached My Asshole for This," and "I'm Here to Fuck Your Dad." Ouch. (Unless, of course, you're Dad!)

Beekeeping at home? I beeloving it. B-BOX is a beehive designed specifically for hobbyist beekeeping in urban settings. Italian bee enthusiasts and conservationists beeing, created B-BOX as a safe and easy way - for both humans and bees - to house and cultivate the dwindling pollinators, and enjoy the fruits honeys of their labor on a daily basis.

Why does this ChoClit taste fi-...naaah, I'm not gonna say it. Especially since ChoClits seller Firebox has already done one better than I ever could with their description of what I'm sure is a generally genitally delicious box of chocolates: "Congrats. You found the sweet spot."

Rounding out the explicit chocolate body part family currently made up of Edible Anus Chocolates, After Dinner Nipples, and the Eat a Dick chocolate penis for anonymous mailing, ChoClits arrive just in time for baby showers, bachelor parties, and Adults Only Easter Baskets. Each box contains 6 delectable milk chocolate vaginas just waiting for a kiss, a lick, a nibble, and a big ol' bite.

I see your bivy sack, and raise you the Terra Nova Bothy Bag, a lightweight emergency shelter erected and held in place by your own body weight and form. Or rather, your own and your friend Cornelius'. Or, given this Bothy Bag listing leads to Terra Nova's 4-person shelter, yours, your friend Cornelius', your friend Victor's, and your friend Maurice's.

For rescue operators, for mountaineers in need of an escape from the rain, for backcountry skiers looking to warm up, and for parks and forests workers who want to meet or take lunch away from the elements, Terra Nova Bothy Bags allow users to erect their own tent-like shelter anywhere they are able to sit together. And in addition to using the human shape to provide the shelter's structure, Bothy Bag's recruit its biology to create a "microclimate" of warmth and humidity inside, while blocking the water, snow, and wind creating the "macroclimate" outside.

Take productivity to new heights...and levels of exhaustion!...with these 10 ways to work out while you work.

Including a range of cardio exercise, balance and posture, and coordination equipment, these workday fitness add-ons probably won't work you to your physical limits, but spread out over the hours you're toiling away on your computer, or dying of boredom in Zoom meetings, their cumulative effects could certainly make a difference in your health and wellness. Especially on days you don't have the time or energy to hit the gym hard or attend a fitness class.

Pocket knives, multi-tools, pens, pry bars, titanium toothpicks, the VAULT modular EDC organizer has a place for them all. A tidy place. One that doesn't see the hundreds (thousands?) of dollars you've spent on your everyday carry heaped in a pile in the junk drawer, or strewn about the bottom of your backpack, and under the seats of your car.

The Amber OTF automatic knife from Tekto Gear pairs a corrosion-resistant chrome steel blade with a deep red, marbled wood for a piece of EDC you may be more keen to show off on the outside of your pocket than to hide within. The Amber's hip clip will be happy to oblige. Further, Tekto recently upgraded their OTF knife with a D2 steel blade, and blackout hardware for the push button, glass pommel, and aerospace aluminum screws. An improved CNC process has the Amber weighing in at 132 grams - 62 grams less than the original.

Unleash the Kraken Dildo! Seven inches long and suction-cup ready for anal penetration! ... Uh, what? On second thought, dude, keep that thing to yourself. I'm still reeling over the Corn Dog Butt Plug.

The Kraken Dildo is a set of spiraling squid tentacles whose bulging suckers and black-lacquer thermoplastic rubber composition give it a formidable appearance, and suggest this is not a sex toy for the faint of heart. Or rather, sphincter. However, the dildo's makers insist it has a "delicate texture" that can "not only increase friction and better stimulate the inner wall of your vagina or anus, but also ensure that the animal dildo can slip in like butter and fill you up." So, yeah. There's that.

mmmmmClassic. Nope, it's not the new Quizno's tagline, it's Marseille Inc.'s mClassic, a plug-and-play graphics card for your gaming console. One its makers call a "world's first" in its ability to boost a game's content in real time, upscaling each pixel to 4K resolution with virtually no lag as you play.