Presenting the Alphabet: 24 Gifts that Start with D

The Duex Pro portable monitor can almost double the size of your laptop screen. Know what that means? You're gonna need a bigger lap.

A 12.5" modular monitor, the Duex Pro can attach to almost any laptop, Mac and PC alike, as well as many phones and gaming consoles. In addition to blowing up the size of your screen with a full HD 1920 x 1080 display, the Duex Pro can also split it to facilitate multi-tasking through different programs, apps, and activities. It has a 180-degree presentation mode option, plus can rotate up to 270 degrees for more dynamic use, especially between multiple people who prefer not to sit on top of one another.

Not sure knowing your way around a roll of duct tape will get you a job at NASA, but if you pair it with Duct Tape Engineer the knowledge could score you a sweet backpack. Or a whole entire kayak. That floats.

Presumably.

To find out for sure, check out Lance Akiyama's step-by-step instructions in Duct Tape Engineer - the book of Big, Bigger, and Epic Duct Tape Projects. Akiyama, who also wrote Rubber Band Engineer, goes beyond belts and bracelets in his adhesive adventures, compiling how-tos for 14 duct tape projects with legit functional uses. In addition to bags and boats, you can make a toolbox, a catapult, a geodesic dome, or even a queen bed frame.

Rubber Ducky, you're the one / you make bathtime so much...yeeearrrggghh! WTF was that, Rubber Ducky? This is bathtime, not hey diddle, diddle, duck in my bunghole time! A duck with a dick?! Do ducks even have dicks?! Hold please.

According to the internet, yes indeedy they do. And, believe it or not, they look even more wack than the human male penis this Duck with a Dick has dangling from his undercarriage. They look like an earthworm. A long one. A disturbingly long earthworm. In fact, while I'm sure this sunny yellow Duck with a Dick is intended as a prank or gag gift for your most deserving recipient, I think if you really want to make them gag, a photograph of a real duck and his dick would serve your purposes much, much better.

Obviously, The Dude's Rug cutting board will really tie your kitchen together. And beyond that, this slab of cherry covered in a Persian rug motif is truly a sight to behold.

Dave Stencil of Cutting Boredom laser etches the trademark Lebowski pattern onto the board's surface in your choice of 2 sizes, 7.5" x 13" x 3/4" or 9" x 15" x 1". The board is an edge grain cherry, which Stencil describes as the "better" quality of 3 types of cutting boards, in terms of wear and knife treatment (flat grain = good; edge grain = better; end grain = best). He went with edge grain because it provides the most consistent background such a detailed image of such splendor. Dude approved across, as it were, the board.

Dungeons & Dragons Clue, that seems appropriate. No joke, it really does. An obvious marriage, really, not one of these Montague-Capulet mergers that rains death and mayhem upon both families. Though I guess the very natures of both Clue and Dungeons & Dragons revolve around death and mayhem, so...kind of a misguided analogy. My point is, the combination of a strategic problem-solving board game and a strategic fantasy role-playing game makes sense. Unlike Twister Clue, wherein players bend and contort into various compromising positions on a series of colored dots and, once in place, one player receives a concussion or a ruptured disk, and the others proceed to determine on what color dot the injury occurred, and whether it was instigated by a stray hand, foot, elbow, or personal lack of balance and/or flexibility.

Sometimes we clamor to get an external hard drive to protect our data, while other times we seek out a Destruct to erase it. Oh the dichotomies of life.

The Destruct is a simple and inexpensive hard drive data eraser from Lovell. Designed like a USB key, the Destruct promises to do for your PC what the factory reset process cannot: truly wipe your hard drive's data so that it cannot be recovered. For anyone looking to sell, recycle, or give an old computer as a gift to your mom, the data erasure process is a must to ensure no one can get ahold of your personal documents and files on the sly. And also to ensure your mama doesn't discover what kind of porn you like.