Things That Make You Go Mmm: 19 Food Gifts for 2021

Vegetarians, health nuts, and foodies, wanna buy some drugs! Green drugs. No, make that DIY green drugs. These Grow 'n' Serve Microgreen Kits will bring joy to the hearts of many a personality on your gift lift this year. The kits come with a planting tray, a choice of nutrient-dense and Instagram-ready greens seeds, and premeasured soil for planting. Time lapse from tilling to snipping the sprouted microgreens is just 10 days.

As if kitchen knives weren't intimidating enough on their own, Dalstrong created their Shadow Black Series of kitchen knives. So now I can pair what they call a "menacing design" with the high probability that I will slice through my finger along with my damn roly-poly radishes, or cleave it off entirely when my wife asks me to break down a chicken.

The makers of Fire Syrup, a jalapeno-infused sweetener and flavor kicker upper, call their creation "A sweet, hot squirt of genius with 104 uses!"

Bet they stole that line from the catalogue at a sperm bank.

Fire Syrup is drizzle-ready for any food or drink that needs some sweet heat to take it to the next level, or just make it memorable. Think fried chicken. Lemonade and margaritas. Grilled peaches and dense chocolate brownies. Mmmm, Fire-Syrup-slathered pancakes and bacon. It's also gift-ready for anyone who, like itself, is hot, but sweet, but hot.

I don't know if Modernist Pizza will end up being the definitive guide to cooking, eating, finding the best, and dreaming nightly about pizza, but it's sure got research, travel, science, pedigree, and 1,708 pages on its side in the effort.

Modernist Pizza is written by Nathan Myhrvold and Francisco Migoya, authors of Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking, and a handful of other multi-volume Modernist bibles you may or may not have heard of. Myhrvold is a physicist, mathematician, inventor, photographer, and the former CTO of Microsoft. Migoya is an award-winning pastry chef and head of the Modernist Cuisine kitchen. Together they traveled the world, visiting over 250 pizzerias in search of both the best pizza and pizza recipes, and an encyclopedia's worth of information on America's favorite food.

Open your mind - and numb your mouth - to the hot umami bomb that is Fly By Jing Sichuan Chili Crisp. Made in Chengdu by Sichuan chef Jing Gao, this condiment is an oil-based cornucopia of flavor and texture they say is good on everything from dumplings and dandan noodles to eggs and ice cream. Hmmm. I'll go, yum, yum, yum, and ewww.

That croissant is lit! Both literally, because it is a Pampshade Bread Lamp filled with LEDs, and figuratively because every Pampshade Croissant is handmade into a lamp from a real, edible croissant. One that, just as impressively, designer Yukiko Morita and her team bake themselves.

Pampshade Bread Lamps come in a variety of styles, from baguettes to boules, coupes to toast, and they all wow with the same basic ingredients and innovative builds. Bread flour, cake flour, salt, and yeast kick off the process - a complex one in and of itself - of creating the breads Pampshade will transform into lighting.

This Amish Country Microwave Popcorn on the Cob makes me feel just like I did when I saw the New England Hot Dog Bun Pan. ... ... Did you know you can pop popcorn right off the cob?! That there exists such a thing as corn cob microwave popcorn?! If you did not know, you can join me on Team This Dude.

If you did know, head over to Team Amish Country.

"Bonne Maman" translates to "Good ol' Mama," and if my mama got me a 2021 Bonne Maman Fruit Spread & Honey Advent Calendar, I'd tell her she's a good ol' mama indeed.

Jam and honey in an advent calendar is better than chocolate in my opinion, because I get enough chocolate at Halloween. Especially when I tell my wife we ran out of candy because the trick-or-treaters were greedy this year, but really I've hidden 2 whole bags of Twix fun-size in my Pirate Treasure Chest.

A Bonne Maman Fruit Spread & Honey Advent Calendar also gives me the opportunity to say, "Bitch better have my honey!" as I pull open one of its cardboard doors, every day for 24 days straight.

Global Grub is here to help adventurous cooks and the people who love to eat their masterpieces "explore new tastes and techniques in [the] kitchen." A great gift for foodies this holiday season, Global Grub DIY Food Kits contain detailed instructions and the major ingredients and tools required to make some of the most beloved, but also most intimidating, treats from around the world.

Edible Crayons? Edible Crayons?! Everything my mama taught me as a kid - namely, what she taught me not to eat - is going out the window. Joining Edible Birthday Candles and Edible Printer Paper, we now have Food Crayons, creative seasonings and condiments for "coloring" dishes and drinks packed into everyone's favorite childhood (and adult!) coloring tool.

Developed by daughter / son / mama Nadia, Kamil, and Veronique as a family affair, Food Crayons come in a range of different flavor combinations, ready for shaving atop compatible foods and cocktails. Pictured above is Tomato & Thyme. Other Food Crayons I'd be down for eating up include Grapefruit & Timut Pepper, Curry & Turmeric, Raspberry & Balsamic, and Mushroom.

Bricknic modular cooking bricks have many qualities I would endorse, but the coolest thing about these clay culinary tools is that you can fill them up, stack them up, and fire them up to build your own brick oven. Whose individual bricks are filled with your food!