Book of Sith: Secrets from the Dark Side

This is the time of year that we gather up all the crap we got for Christmas and return it/sell it on Craig's List so we can use the money to buy the stuff we really want. Like the Vault Edition of Book of Sith: Secrets from the Dark Side, which my mama did not put under the tree for me even though it was on my list with two stars next to it. I thought I was clear about how crucial it was to the equilibrium of the universe for me to have the complementary antagonist to The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force, but I guess not. So now I'll have to get rid of an inflatable beard, an electric toothbrush, and this blanket that looks like it's made of horse hair and pretty much gives me a rash when I so much as glance at it, and buy my vaulted Book of Sith myself.

The deluxe package begins with a mystical black-and-red pyramid serving as the book's case. It opens to reveal an ornate, hardbound tome filled with the thoughts, exploits, and plots for Sith control of the galaxy recorded over centuries as Sith Lords came forth and rose to power. The volume contains 6 texts total, 5 that Darth Sidious tracked down and believes were penned by his most formidable predecessors, and the last Sidious' own manifesto. Together, they expound upon the philosophy, achievements, and failures of the Sith Order.

Recovered Dark Side texts appear as follows:

• A chronicle by Sorzus Syn of her encounters with Sith Purebloods, explorations in alchemy, and the foundations of the Sith Order.
• Darth Malgus' war journal, kept during the Great Galactic War. Describes methods of war and campaigns of the Sith army.
• A source book by Darth Bane, detailing the idea and the philosophy behind the Rule of Two, as well as the training required for a Sith.
• An instructional manual by Mother Talzin exploring the Nightsisters' use of the Dark Side and their role as Dark Side mercenaries in the galaxy.
• A scientific journal by Darth Plagueis with notes about his experimentation with and manipulation of the Force.
• Darth Sidious' manifesto about the philosophy and political manipulation that marked his rise to power and established his Empire.

Additional treasures unearthed and packaged in the pyramid include a scrap of a Sith burial shroud, a battle map from the Great Galactic War, a Sith lightsaber crystal, a Nightsister talisman, a diagram of Palpatine's political strategies during the Clone Wars, a propaganda poster for the Galactic Empire, and a note from Luke Skywalker.

Book of Sith: Secrets from the Dark Side contains 160 fully-illustrated pages housed within its motorized vault.

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