Dinosaur Arm Puppets
I'd be cautious about buying one of these dinosaur arm puppets for two reasons. One, it will probably eat you. And two, I'm not sure how reliable the seller, who was pretty new to Etsy and had no reviews at printing, is. So your chosen green T-Rex or blue raptor puppet might never show up. Or it might arrive, but not be of the quality indicated in the photos and description.
Or it could be even more realistic and maneuverable and awesome than it looks in the photos.
And eat you.
The oversized arm puppets are definitely huggers, made of silicone and foam that can bend around the puppeteer's torso, so the dinos look as Awww as they do Rrrawwwrrr. You can control T-Rex and raptor head and mouth movement with one hand stuck up their...neck.
Meteorite & Dinosaur Bone Rings
If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves...
Inflatable Dinosaur Costume
Giddyup, T-Rex! While I'm not so sure about the proportions of this inflatable dinosaur costume, what it lacks in mathematical accuracy it definitely makes up for in costume originality. Now riding into your Halloween...
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Life-Size Baby T-Rex Costume
Sometimes babies are born with disproportionately large body parts, which they subsequently grow into. Like dog paws and human eyes. No such luck for the baby T-Rex. Looks as if those little guys are stuck with midget...
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DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kit
I was all about these DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kits until I saw the last image in the gallery above. The one that shows how it arrives. As cardboard cutouts you have to punch out and assemble yourself. Pssshhh! I don't...
Dino Pet Bioluminescent Night Light
Oh boy, it's like a dinosaur mixed with a firefly mixed with that neat-o photosynthesis word I learned in middle school. Dino Pet, a compilation of living, bioluminescent organisms called dinoflagellates housed in an...
Mini Museum - Portable Curiosities Collection
It's not an oompa loompa, but a portable plaque of specimens ranging from a thread of circa 350 BC Egyptian mummy wrap to a sliver of T-Rex tooth is still rad enough for me to whine, "Mama! I want a Mini Museum! I want...
3D Printed Dickasaurus (NSFW)
Sex toy, trophy for a dude who's a real T-Rex in the bedroom, (literal) gag gift, the 3D Printed Dickasaurus will serve you well as any of these. But me, I bought a 3D Printed Dickasaurus to leave anonymously for my boss...
Raptor Dog Costume
Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying...
Gardenzilla - Rampaging Kaiju Garden Gnome
Praying mantises and ladybugs are heralded for their ability to rid gardens of many common pests, but in my experience they're utterly useless when it comes to eradicating the front yard of smug, chubby, razor-phobic...
Giant Rideable T-Rex Bike
Of course, of course Portlandia is the Craig's List source for a giant rideable T-Rex bike. I can smell Burning Man 2014 and self-entitled cries of "Share the road!" bellowing through major downtown arterials all over...
/3d-printed-vaginasaur-nsfw-51636.jpg?mode=crop "3D Printed Vaginasaur (NSFW)")
3D Printed Vaginasaur (NSFW)
Be careful, the 3D Printed Vaginasaur definitely eats meat. Etsy shop 10th Dimension 3D calls this prehistoric poon print the "Dino Pussy" and the "Cuntasaurus," but I feel like "Vaginasaur" rolls off the tongue best...
Giant Ride-On T-Rex Costume
Cretaceous Period meets the Wild, Wild West in this ride-on T-Rex costume, one of the most outstanding Halloween costumes I've seen this year. And one of the most outstanding mixed metaphors I've seen ever...