Morphine Lips Lip Balm

Mmmm, Morphine Lips. That sounds sexy. ... When I've just had 4 impacted wisdom teeth pulled. I don't know, dude. If we're talking about a lip balm that's supposed to make me want to kiss a lady because it promises to share the effect of an illicit substance, I'd maybe go with Molly, or even Mushroom, before Morphine Lips. Mmmm, speaking of mushrooms, I could definitely go for some Truffle Lips.

But morphine is the opioid of choice in this chapstick o' love, which claims it's all about "bringing people together." Through kisses and morphine. And also subterfuge! Morphine Lips recommends applying the balm and then kissing an "uniformed partner." S/he will feel its titillating effect in a few seconds, at which point the company says there will be hearts racing and bodies trembling for more.

More what exactly? More Benzocaine numbing agent. It's a topical anesthetic, the same stuff they use in Orajel and cough drops. Perfectly legal, no prescription needed, and no actual morphine included. Makes me wonder, though. Will numbing someone with your kiss make them want more kisses or just make them annoyed they can no longer taste their cocktail or sense that they're drooling?

I'll leave the pondering in your hands.

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