Get Up and Go Caffeinated Baked Goods

Posted: October 08, 2013

In: Food ➠ Novelty

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$8.99 - $36

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Get Up and Go baked goods advertise their delivery of caffeine without the coffee. Having consumed several...in the past 11 minutes...I would advertise that, even better, they jack up my motivation and focus without the puckered, just-drank-a-glass-of-ass face I make after downing most energy drinks. Unfortunately, the brownies, blondies, cookies, muffins, and granola are also offensively delicious so most of the extra xanthine alkaloid in my step will go to burning off the poundage I'm going to gain this week from eating them.

Each Get Up and Go treat contains caffeine equivalent to 1 cup of coffee, and all varieties are sold by the 3-, 6-, or 12-pack. I am considering getting some for Halloween to hand out to the kids whose parents always complain to my mama on the nights I crank Air Supply so loud that "the whole neighborhood can hear the angst." You know, I only do it when I'm feeling dejected you stuffy WASPs. But that's fine. I see a kind of payback that will keep you just as awake and miserable through sunrise in your very near future....

Those looking for both a buzz and an excuse to make a big mess in the kitchen might try mixing up their own batch of caffeine-infused carb carnivals with a 40-ounce bag of caffeinated baking sugar.

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