Professional Digital Breathalyzer
- BACtrack Keychain Breathalyzer - $28.71
- iPhone Blood Pressure Monitor - $129.00
- Stainless Steel Tongue Cleaner - $7.29
- Radar Detector for iPhone and iPod - $83.57
- AntiPoleez Frat pack - Alcohol and Bad Breath Eliminator - $34.99
Sure, the BACtrack Element Breathalyzer helps to keep you clear of the DUI-doling claws of the po', and the roads clear of the drunk, less proprioceptive version of yourself. It uses Xtend fuel censor technology that hits professional levels of accuracy, and slides easily into pockets, purses, or glove boxes for easy access when you feel Jose Cuervo has compromised your driving skills, or your friends feel your belligerence has reached levels requiring cab driver assistance.
But have you thought of the drinking game awesomeness that can also be achieved with the addition of a breathalyzer? The braggin' rights a BACtrack can impart when you are able to throw back four gin & tonics in an hour and blow only a .05? I think it's time to give 90s-era Suck & Blow a makeover into a new and improved Shoot & Blow. Winner gets to drive everyone home! Loser gets to pass out and have his chest waxed with duct tape!
The Element Breathalyzer can remain accurate for thousands of tests. Its fuel cell sensor technology drives more precise and consistent results than that of semi-conductor breathalyzers. It will not show a false positive for someone who is diabetic or on a low-calorie diet. (Wait, what? That happens? So next time I get pulled over, I can just plead militant weight loss plan?) The Element comes with five reusable mouthpieces, and a one-year warranty. It is approved by the US Department of Transportation for alcohol screening, making it ideal for both copper and drinker use, and has also been endorsed by Dr. Phil, making it ideal for angry lush use.
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