Bleeding Hand Candle
/bleeding-hand-candle-9713.jpg "Bleeding Hand Candle")
- RC Tarantula - $16.69
- 5-Piece Finger Candles - $11.95
- Bony Finger Candles - $12.99
- Bleeding Taper Candles - $14.98
- Metallic Skull Candle - $11.99
Poor Thing. Someone lit him on fire and in the absence of a mouth, or thumb and forefinger that can reach the top of his wrist, it looks like he's doomed to burn. If you give him a few minutes I hear blood will start running down his sides.
Johnny B. Wilde casts his macabre candles from real hands, which is why all of their wrinkles, veins, and callouses appear beneath the wicks. Adding to our sadistic viewing pleasure: as the candles burn Wilde says the red wax comprising their interiors will melt and bleed out in oozy streams. I don't see any photographic evidence of this though, so I'm not sure if it actually happens or is just some sort of sleight of hand candle.
Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick
While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep... Working from home today... Anyway, I applaud...
/wtf-prank-candles-55498.jpg?mode=crop "WTF Prank Candles")
WTF Prank Candles
WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the...gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...
Bat Levitating Mouse
Bat, a levitating wireless computer mouse, is currently in the research and testing phases for use in preventing and treating carpal tunnel syndrome, a median nerve dysfunction to which many mouse manipulators are susceptible...
Diamond Ring Candles
Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...
Man Can - Gun Powder Scented Candle
Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift...
/skull-candle-holder-with-61498.jpg?mode=crop "Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle")
Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle
Bleeding candles are nothing new...huh. What a weird truth. I can think of at least 2 types of bleeding candle I have already shown you - The Melting Hand Bloody Candle and Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding
/sixth-finger-ring-25534.jpg?mode=crop "Sixth Finger Ring")
Sixth Finger Ring
Whooooo wants a FINGERring? Come on, ladies, don't be shy. If you've ever felt like something was missing from your life, here's the perfect opportunity to find out whether or not that something is a 6th finger...
/my-last-fck-candle-44928.jpg?mode=crop "My Last F*ck Candle")
My Last F*ck Candle
My Last F*ck Candle. Presumably this is the one you'll burn when all of the disasters, the shockers, and the newest pieces of trash to hit social media become too much to process, too much to reconcile. When the only...
/freetoo-outdoor-gloves-22897.jpg "Freetoo Outdoor Gloves")
Freetoo Outdoor Gloves
Men, what can you do with Freetoo's outdoor gloves? An Amazon reviewer says, "I threw several heavy punches at a tree in my yard. And no it didn't feel good on my hand but it didn't damage it at all. If you punch someone...
Heatbuff Keyboard Hand Warmer
Stuck gaming in the basement with nothing but a space heater and the warmth wafting from your CPU? Boss too cheap to tick the thermostat above 68 at the office? Hands so cold you feel like you're typing with the fingers...
/skeleton-in-a-skull-bathtub-61403.jpg?mode=crop "Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle")
Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle
Is there some sort of metaphor to be drawn from the Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle? Take a dip in your own mind? Relax with your thoughts? Wade through your memories...and maybe figure out how you died and got cursed...
Raiders of the Lost Ark Melting Toht Candle
Nothing like a hot day in the south or the Ark of the Covenant to make you feel like your face is gonna melt off. Though after my wee and innocent 6-year-old eyes were scarred for life watching Major Arnold Ernst Toht...