Car Mustache
/car-mustache-3771.jpg "Car Mustache")
- Zombie Family Car Decals - $7.05
- 26.5" Long Mustache Magnet - $14.99
- Mustache Bandages - $5.50
- Shark Fin Car Antenna Decor - $6.04
- Car Eyelashes - $8.98
Carstache creator Ethan Eyler knows exactly what I'm wondering as I peruse photos of suave mustachioed VWs and Jeeps looking sexier than Burt Reynolds naked on a bearskin rug: Will affixing a mustache to my car change my life? His answer is instant. Yes, he asserts. Having a Carstache will make my life better. Let's explore the reasons why:
- First and foremost, I won't get slapped anymore when I offer the ladies mustache rides. Probably.
- When I have a rough day, I will clip on the Orange Firestache and bask in the honks and air fives I get from other drivers during rush hour traffic.
- When I have to give my kid a hoopdie from Craig's List for her Super Sweet 16, I will ease the blow of 97,000 miles and a wonky rear bumper with a So Hot Pink mess of vehicular facial hair grinning at her from the front grille.
- When my Aunt Esther dies--and it's got to happen any day now--I will lead the automotive funeral procession with a black Carstache on my Toyota Tundra to lighten the mood, and lift the spirits of those excluded from her will.
- I will become a pillar of patriotism, sporting the Glorystache for the entire month of July, and part of August, as I blow shit up for Independence Day, and encourage the ruthless annihilation of all other nations during a US rout of the Summer Olympics.
There are currently 8 shades of Carstache available. In addition to those mentioned above, buyers can select Grizzly Brown, Legendary Blond, Purple Pleasure, or Wisdom Gray. Bikestaches are also up for grabs in black and brown ($14).
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/tooletries-beard-scrubber-62230.jpg?mode=crop "Tooletries Beard Scrubber")
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