For Rectal Use Only Stickers

My friend Cornelius put one of these prank bumper stickers on my car the other day, and even though I realized it was magnetic and therefore easily removed shortly after retracing my drive to the soft-serve ice cream...

Dressing up kids and pets is so passe. The new canvases of self-expression are appliances. And the most decadent of appliance haute couture is Kudu's magnetic fridge skins--panels that adhere to refrigerators' full facades...

Oooh, I don't need a game controller or a code or critical thinking skills to open these metal core doors. I might even be able to kick them in without risk of shattering multiple bones in my foot. Probably I'd just jam...

The Dihydrogen Monoxide Warning Sticker is a must-have precaution for anyone with a swimming pool, a showerhead, or a Darth Vader Tea Kettle. Better

Whenever another driver commits an egregious act on the road that almost kills me, or just really pisses me off, I always envision having a button on my car that shoots darts out from the undercarriage. Darts, of course...

I Park Like an Idiot stickers have two outstanding selling points. 1) Applying one to the bumper or window of a deserving vehicle will give its user an instant boost, likely eliminating the crankiness and ill-will evoked...

This Car Seat Eject Button Sticker has perfect timing. Made to adhere to any blank space on your vehicle's console, I plan to put the decal right alongside the Fire Missiles Cigarette Lighter Button I stuck to my wife's...

While my ideal Bat Key would start the ignition to a Batmobile, I guess one that makes an X on my computer screen will suffice until I raise $620,000 and learn how to drive a stick. Etsy artist Anya's Batman Keyboard...

These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...

Now what is this Warning telling me? Something about tools? Let's see here... Warning: These tools are too advanced for your skill level. Please stick with...Fisher Price? What? Fisher Price? What does that - hey! That's...

In America, there is no better way to share your love, hate, political leanings, religious beliefs, and philosophical musings than the rear end of your car. (Well, except Facebook.) Talelight makes bumper sticker expressionism...

Now drive slow, honey, it's not a race. Ha! Clearly that bit of motherly wisdom is a crock, as indicated by this vehicle manufacturer-issued decal right here on my side view mirror. It is a race, Mama. And all of those...