Gear

Star Wars Force Band

Discontinued

As Rogue One readies to flash back in the Star Wars timeline, you've got the opportunity to flash back in the IRL timeline (but, uh, forward in the Star Wars timeline) to The Force Awakens, and Sphero's 2015 BB-8 app-enabled...

Muzik One - The Smartphone of Headphones

Discontinued

Been thinking about slapping a coupla smartphones to your ears to enhance your listening experience? Muzik One just stole your idea. The so-called Smartphone of Headphones combine high-fidelity, noise-cancelling playback...

Stanley Classic Flask

$16 - $39.98 Amazon »

If Paul Bunyan and Don Draper were sharing some hooch around the campfire, I bet the Stanley Classic Flask in Hammertone Crimson is what they'd use to tip it back. And so would I...

Sting Ring

Discontinued

Who wants a fist bump? The Sting Ring is the newest beast in my menagerie of self defense tools. My digital menagerie. I don't own one of the single finger knuckle dusters, and I have no idea how effectively its 18,000,000...

S.T. Dupont James Bond Spectre Lighter

Discontinued

The name's Bond. Flames Bond. Quick, here's a couple grand to spend on ST Dupont (the French luxury brand, not the US polymer one) loot. Do you go for the James Bond Spectre lighter or the Star Wars TIE Fighter pen? I'd...

The Moon Ring

Discontinued

Did I say the Scary Intruder prop was a good way to find out how hard and fast my girlfriend punches? Well. That's because I hadn't see The Moon Ring yet. I feel like this prank's tagline should be: "Give her The Moon...

Walky Dog Hands-Free Bicycle Leash

Better have a good long talk with your dog before hooking him up to a Walky Dog hands-free bicycle leash. Lay some ground rules about tugging horizontally and keeping his instinct to tear off at full horsepower after...

Scary Intruder Prank Door Prop

Sold Out Amazon »

This looks like a good way to get punched in the face. Actually, a disturbingly realistic intruder prop hung in the bedroom doorway as a special treat for my girlfriend looks like a good way to punched in a lot of places...

Classic Bento Vacuum Lunch Jar

$142.57 Amazon »

Japan meets Russia in a bento lunch you can take to work matryoshka doll-style. Zojirushi's stainless steel vacuum lunch jar will keep hot foods hot, cold foods cold, and, most importantly, foods you don't want touching...

iSINE Planar Magnetic Headphones

$399 Audeze »

The "A" isn't for "Arachnid" or "Alien," it's for "Audeze." Creator of the forthcoming iSINE 10 planar magnetic headphones. Their webby design and hexagonal shape are definitely, uh, eye-catching. But are these Apple-device-exclusive...

Wazer Desktop Waterjet Cutter

$3,999 - $4,499 Wazer »

Wazer, the self-described first ever desktop waterjet cutter, has a few things going for it. First, if your friend Cornelius has ever sprayed you in the face with a pressure washer, you know how strong a jet of water...

Spy Tec Real Time GPS Tracker

Discontinued

No good can come of consumers using 100% accurate real-time GPS tracking...except monthly subscription rates as low as $25 with no contract or activation fees! "Yahtzee!" says my Aunt Jan. Oh cousin Ricky, you poor bastard...

Ka-Bar Tactical Spork

$7.95 Amazon »

See, it's a fork-spoon combo up top with a...knife!...that pulls out from the handle. And - and! - it's black. Ka-Bar's Tactical Spork is a tactical tool for tactical eating if I've ever seen one. Imagine the stealth...

Insulated 12 oz Lowball Tank

Sold Out Amazon »

I think the implication is that this is a Strong. Ass. Cup. A cup for men who twist off caps that aren't twist-off. For men who rip open Amazon Prime boxes with their bare hands. For men who inflate all 12 of the Annual...

Go Guarded Self Defense Ring

$12.99 Go Guarded »

I bought my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, a purple Brutus the Bulldog keychain to serve as her attacker ass-kicking assistant, but I'll admit when it arrived, it turned out to be a lot bigger and clunkier that...

Covert Escape Nickel Compass

Sold Out Amazon »

If I had a nickel for every nickel that's ever gotten me out of a pickle, I'd have...one Shomer-Tec Nickel. Because, holy Thomas Jefferson, dudes, the Shomer-Tec nickel isn't just your average five cent piece. It's also...

Leidenfrost Effect Ring

$31.80 Grand Illusions »

I love the dude who makes Grand Illusions' videos. I think his name is either George or Hendrik. Both because George Auckland and Hendrik Ball are the two Brits who founded and run Grand Illusions out of an 18th century...

Create A Space Portable Seat Partition

Sold Out Amazon »

Do fellow airline passengers refuse to respect your personal space? Then Create A Space of your own. Got a seat mate who hogs all the space on the armrest? Create A Space for your elbow, and yours alone...

Ice Cream FREEZE Cooling Bowl

$18.99 Amazon »

Yeah, forget frozen ice cream, I'm about to wear the FREEZE Bowl as a hat. Let's see if it can keep my head from melting for the same 30 to 45 minutes it says it will keep my scoops of Mint Chocolate Chip in their solid...

Estream Portable Water Power Generator

Discontinued

What if I don't want to disconnect? What if I don't want to see another person for miles, but do want to keep listening to "Love Yourself" and checking to see if Bieber restored his Instagram account? And also have a...

Chill-O Stainless Steel Swizzle Sticks

Discontinued

No need to choose between skunky room temperature, watered-down, and 50/50 chance of a cracked tooth with Chill-O Stainless Steel Swizzle Sticks. These stainless steel rods deliver the cool without melting like ice, and...

EL Wire Earbuds

Discontinued

Not only will cars be able to see you, they'll be able to see your beats. BriteFit's earbuds use electroluminescent lighting to glow in the dark and, if you want, flash along to the rhythm of your music. Sweet. First...

Micro Blaster Q-Tip X-Bow

Discontinued

The dude in your office who always says to Ping me, brah! when that copy's done. When you're getting coffee? When it's time for Friday Feats of Strength in the conference room? Oh, it's time to ping him, brah!...

Pooch Selfie Phone Attachment

$11.99 Amazon »

The Pooch Selfie presumes your dog is a big enough sucker that he'll be mesmerized by a simple tennis ball with a squeaker inside long enough for you to snap the perfect photo of the two of you...