The Map of Zombies
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What they lack in intelligence they make up for in contributions to the entertainment industry. Jason Thompson's Map of Zombies (complete, hi-res version here) traces and visually depicts by physical characteristics, personality traits, and origins over 350 of the most infamous zombies ever to grace the screens and pages of movies, books, video games, comics, manga, and TV. In a drawing reminiscent of vintage medical charts, the Map of Zombies presents a truly awe-inspiring perspective on our obsession with the walking dead.
Thompson places zombie masterpieces in categories and sub-categories such as Fast, Slow, Voodoo-spawned, Alien, Fungus-infected, Friendly, Cannibalistic, Vulnerable to Headshots, and Vulnerable Only to Complete Dismemberment. For example, trace the map's zombie family braintree and you'll find that those who cannot run faster than humans and exist only because they have been revived by mad scientists as cybernetic beings are probably zombies from Frankenstein's Army. On the flip side, undead of an occult origin who just want to tear up the choreography in the greatest music video of all time (i.e., Primary Motivation: Dancing) have entered the zombieverse through Michael Jackson's "Thriller".
The Map of Zombies also includes a key to symbols identifying the type of media (movie, video game, etc.) and the thematic motivation behind each piece of work in the zombie oeuvre. Theme classifications include Romance (e.g., White Trash Zombie), Comedy (BioZombie), Nazi/Kaiser Zombies (Hellsing), Secondary Apocalypse (Spore the Fungus), and Zombires (Hellbaby).
Maps are sold as 24" x 36" posters that arrive in 26" mailing tubes. Upon receiving their purchase, buyers should set aside many hours to study the map and commit of all of its zombie qualifications and titles to memory. On day 7 of ownership, Thompson will text you a 5-question pop quiz, and if each question is not answered within 15 seconds of transmission, he'll send Bill fucking Murray over to eat your intestines.
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