Why Are We Not Having Sex Right Now? Neon Sign
- Angel Wings LED Neon Signs - $184.99
- Lip Shaped Neon Sign - $12.99
- This Is Where The Magic Happens Custom Dimmable LED Neon Sign - $184.99
- Lady Back LED Neon Sign - $79.99
- Let's Get Weird Pink Neon Sign - $69.99
Yeah, dude. Why aren't we having sex right now? I mean, not with each other, though I'm sure you're great and all. No, but why aren't we having sex right now with other people? Our significant others? Eager beavers we met at Vaccingles Night? Or at the very least, ourselves?
Tou-chay, tou-chay. Many of us could be having sex right now with ourselves. No reason not to catch up on the latest product designs, gear, and gift guides with the other hand.
I don't know about you, but I don't really need a neon sign to ask me why I'm not having sex right now. I'm always wondering that anyway. My wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, however. She could use the prompt. Especially from an unbiased third party, such as a neon sign, since she doesn't seem to like it when I myself ask her these hard, penetrating questions several times a day.
Dashing, decorative, and ready for above-the-bed display, the Why Are We Not Having Sex Right Now? Neon Sign comes in an explosion of different sizes, colors, and designs. Just like the rest of us. You can customize your order to suit your space and desperation at checkout.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
Luxury Mile High Club Experience
Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring...
/10-images-i-cant-believe-are-43138.jpg?mode=crop "10 Images I Can't Believe Are Allowed on Amazon (NSFW)")
10 Images I Can't Believe Are Allowed on Amazon (NSFW)
And I mean very NSFW. I mean, it's not like I came across* these 10 images I can't believe are allowed on Amazon because I was searching for porn, boobies, or sex toys on Amazon. I was just minding my own business, perusing...
Boregasm Pills
Good thing yawns and O faces look about the same because, thanks to research being conducted by a handful of (presumably exhausted and horny) PhD students at Indiana University's The Kinsey Institute, they're about to...
/japanese-electric-piston-12123.jpg "Japanese Electric Piston Masturbator (NSFW)")
Japanese Electric Piston Masturbator (NSFW)
Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found...
LaunchPAD - Fleshlight iPad Case (NSFW)
Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...
The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas (NSFW)
Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...
/sexy-gifts-for-that-special-41604.jpg?mode=crop "Sexy Gifts for that Special Someone (NSFW)")
Sexy Gifts for that Special Someone (NSFW)
Some gifts are best left to Santa. But sexy gifts, especially sexy gifts for that someone special, those gifts are Baby Jesus territory all the way...
Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible (NSFW)
Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...
/vibrating-bicycle-seat-8731.jpg?mode=crop "Vibrating Bicycle Seat")
Vibrating Bicycle Seat
A heads up to politicians and city planners: stop wasting your money on bike lanes, tax incentives, and PSA campaigns. All you need do to persuade your constituents to trade in cars for bicycles on their morning commute...
SexFit Sexual Fitness Tracker (NSFW)
Bondara, a British sex toy online store and blog, plans to begin testing of its SexFit prototype in the 4th quarter of 2014. So by 2016...or maybe even February 2015 since I'm sure they'll have thousands and thousands...
/wobbling-willy-your-face-on-28316.jpg "Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)")
Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)
Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...
/penis-weight-set-43612.jpg?mode=crop "Penis Weight Set")
Penis Weight Set
All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real...