Cute Little Fu*kers Sex Toys
I didn't mark the Cute Little Fu*kers Sex Toys as NSFW, because the gender-inclusive vibrators actually are suitable for viewing at work*. That was one of Cute Little Fu*kers master(bating)mind Step Tranovich's design decisions in making them: leave one of the adorable silicone monsters "on display and no one will know it was in you!"
In addition to looking like goofy monsters your kids (and dogs for that matter) are definitely going to swipe and play with if you're not careful, all Cute Little Fu*kers Sex Toys share the following traits:
- They swap out the RRRAAAWWWRRR! for the BZZBZZ! (In other words, they vibrate.)
- They're sex toys intended for all genders.
- Aside from their internal electronics (BZZBZZ!) Cute Little Fu*kers are made of 100% medical grade silicone.
- They have 5 vibration speeds and modes.
- They're quiet to use, and waterproof.
*Now. Whether or not cute Little Fu*kers Sex Toys are suitable for using at work, I'll leave that to your discretion.
/tenga-flip-hole-male-18833.jpg?mode=crop "Tenga Flip Hole Male Masturbator")
Tenga Flip Hole Male Masturbator
Usually when I come across things like the Tenga Flip Hole on Amazon, a random oblong instrument or box with a button, and a title that gives no indication of what the F it is, I just assume it has something to do with...
/heres-the-rub-the-best-male-45378.jpg?mode=crop "Here's the Rub: The Best Male Masturbatory Aids (NSFW)")
Here's the Rub: The Best Male Masturbatory Aids (NSFW)
The very best male masturbatory aids always have been and always will be porn - obviously - but recent developments in sex toy tech and gadgetry, and the fact that dating is even trickier during a pandemic than it is...
/pacos-taco-stroker-22826.jpg "Paco's Taco Stroker")
Paco's Taco Stroker
At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...
/star-wars-sex-toys-nsfw-30220.jpg "Star Wars Sex Toys (NSFW)")
Star Wars Sex Toys (NSFW)
Geeky Sex Toys' Star Toys promise to transport you to a galaxy far, far away and show you a great big Ohhhh-bi-Wan Kenobi...
/balldo-ball-dildo-to-double-48060.jpg?mode=crop "balldo - Ball-Dildo to Double Your Penis Count (NSFW)")
balldo - Ball-Dildo to Double Your Penis Count (NSFW)
"Make 2021 the year of ballsex!" Well, balldo, it's not the worst idea anyone's ever had. Plus, given all the horrible things 2020 was the year of, and the lackluster way 2021 has kicked off, a brand new ball-dildo that...
/taco-holder-butt-plug-46446.jpg?mode=crop "Taco Holder Butt Plug")
/bong-butt-plugs-nsfw-56209.jpg?mode=crop "Bong Butt Plugs (NSFW)")
Bong Butt Plugs (NSFW)
These Bong Butt Plugs are smokin' hot! Though I'm not sure if it's from the Blue Dream or the 3 bowls of Four-Chile Chili I ate during NFL Sunday coming out of them...
/tenga-easy-beat-egg-mens-36736.jpg?mode=crop "Tenga Easy Beat Eggs - Men's Portable Pleasure Devices")
Tenga Easy Beat Eggs - Men's Portable Pleasure Devices
You know what they say: if you can't beat the egg, let the egg beat you. At least that's what I'd guess they say around the Tenga Easy Beat Egg production line. From the same Tenga that brought you the Flip Hole male...
/ass-knuckles-59872.jpg?mode=crop "Ass Knuckles")
Ass Knuckles
Knuckle dusters and butt plugs are two products that never get old around here. So it's a true blessing that Etsy shop Zealeous decided to combine them in this fine piece: Ass Knuckles...
/objects-of-desire-21302.jpg "Objects of Desire (NSFW)")
Objects of Desire (NSFW)
Everyone's all on about the advancements in the computer industry. The cell phone industry. The automotive industry. But what about the sex toy industry? Isn't it about time they got the props they deserve for the groundbreaking...
/the-waterslyde-bathtub-sex-toy-49895.jpg?mode=crop "The WaterSlyde Bathtub Sex Toy")
The WaterSlyde Bathtub Sex Toy
Ladies, I freaked out too when I saw The WaterSlyde and thought you were meant to stick it inside you like a vibrator. And then I freaked out even more when I read maker Lovability deems The WaterSlyde a "sex toy alternative,"...
/shibari-lube-launcher-21917.jpg "Shibari Lube Launcher")
Shibari Lube Launcher
The Shinbari Lube Launcher. XL. In blue. That's seven-and-a-half inches of long and strong silicone jelly (or even, according to one reviewer, organic coconut oil) reservoir ready to facilitate pleasure and alleviate...