Miscellaneous

DermaTherapySPORT Athletic Bedding

$199.99 - $249.99 Amazon »

DermaTherapySPORT bedding evolved around athletes and studies suggesting how dramatically sleep quality can affect athletic performance. But the essence of these elite sheets is their fabric technology, a woven system...

120" Portable Outdoor Movie Screen

$187.99 Amazon »

If you prefer the real thing over the blow-up version, here's an outdoor movie screen that's just as portable as an inflatable model, but made of a 16:9 Oxford nylon screen. Project 120 inches worth of movies indoors...

Portable Air Conditioner with Remote Control

Sold Out Amazon »

It's so hot right now I'd be more than happy to drag Honeywell's portable AC unit around like an oxygen tank. The 10,000 BTU air conditioner has the capacity to cool 350 to 400 square feet of space, just about the size...

Gel'O Cool Pillow Mat

Discontinued

I like sleeping under the covers. Always. No matter the conditions I need at least a sheet serving as a barrier between the Sandman and my bare ass. The problem with this is that I always wake up with wet hair and a sweat-soaked...

Stinger Indoor Insect Trap

Discontinued

The bugs have arrived. Rats. And since bugs (or rats) are not the types of animals I advocate co-existing with, this is my advice to those of you with homes overrun with flies, mosquitos, gnats, and no-see-ums: zap the...

Cup Holder Power Inverter with USB Port

Sold Out Amazon »

Car cup holder space may be precious, but I can think of at least 3 times I would have gladly traded my 20-ounce quad Caramocha for a phone that didn't die in the middle of navigating me the hell out of downtown Portland...

Check All That Apply Cards

Sold Out Etsy »

Business cards, like hand gestures, are great ways of communicating. A card reminds a new acquaintance of your name. A potential client of your job title. A hot chick of your phone number. And here, with the interactive...

Ltd Tools Smoking Pipes

$120 - $135 Ltd Tools »

The Ltd Tools mission statement: "To make the nicest pipes on the planet." I guess the truth in that goal is all personal taste before you're high, and not really worth taking the trouble to think about after you're high...

Silencing Slider - Cheeseburger Ball Gag

$99.99 Etsy »

I'll have a quarter pounder with...please. Yes, please, Master, bite me! Bite me hard and put the marks of your ownership on my flesh while I, your slave, receive my punishment in complete submission. Silently mowing...

Exhale Bladeless Ceiling Fan

$500 - $600 Exhale Fans »

Not that Dyson hasn't proven that fans don't need to look like a duck and walk like a duck to be a duck, but the Exhale bladeless fan is still the strangest looking thing I've ever seen mounted to a ceiling. I don't even...

Igloo Dome Sensory Deprivation Pillow

Discontinued

Shield yourself from all light and sound while you sleep without strapping things over your eyes, jamming them in your ears, or looking like an ostrich. The Igloo Dome Pillow is a cushioned sleeping tent for the head...

Luna Intelligent Mattress Cover

$199 - $229 Luna »

Luna describes itself as "the world's first mattress cover that intelligently warms your bed, tracks sleep, and makes your bed smart." And it does it all in 2 minutes. Almost as fast as I myself do things in bed...

Portable Kerosene Heater

$169.99 Amazon »

No electricity? No electricity needed with the Sengoku KeroHeat portable convection kerosene heater. Using 1K clear kerosene this cylindrical fire chamber is capable of blasting 23,500 BTUs over a 900 square foot room...

Power Outlet with Dual USB Ports

$23.84 - $27.79 Amazon »

Logical, intuitive, way more convenient than plugging one plug into another plug before it hits the wall. I wonder how long before all newly-installed outlets will contain USB ports in addition to the standard AC 3-prongs...

Electric Heated Fleece Travel Blanket

$38 Amazon »

This past weekend I had a horrifying experience with the elements. It was 37 degrees outside, a veritable monsoon was falling from the sky, it was accompanied by gale force winds of at least 972 mph, and I was stuck in...

Bearded Year Transparent Overlay Calendar

Discontinued

I know we're almost halfway through January, but you still have, like, three hundred sixty...um...forty...like, a lot of days left in 2015 to 1) merit tracking by 2015 calendar and 2) grow a sick Arctic beard. Anna Marinenko's...

Garage Beacon Smartphone Door Opener

$69.95 Garage Beacon »

The Garage Beacon claims to turn your smartphone into an automatic garage door remote. I think this is a pretty good idea. Because I remember driving places with my grandpa when I was boy of 5 or 6. I'd sit in the car...

Philips Sunrise Simulation Alarm Clock

$47.99 Amazon »

I'll still probably want to Monkey Fist Philips' Wake-up Light to East Jesus when it begins its simulation of the sunrise at 10:30 each morning, but maybe the gradual brightening of my basement lair will remove some of...

Holiday Gift Guide: For the Eleventh Hour

Ye draggers of the gluteus maximus out there may not be relegated to--gasp!--leaving your house and buying holiday gifts in person just yet. Below we have accumulated a few non-sucky mail-order offerings that, at printing...

The Dragon Sex Calendar

I can't believe it! Just yesterday I was thinking about cartoon sex--albeit between people, not dragons--and today I find a whole calendar of cartoon sex stills! And you know what: I think the thinking thinks even better...

Holiday Gift Guide: For Ladies

Ladies. Why is it that I find it so difficult to shop for them, yet they seem to have no trouble at all shopping for themselves? Every time I try to buy the perfect gift for my mama or the girl at my local ice cream store...

Holiday Gift Guide: Christmas Cheer

Deck the halls with boughs of holly and deck my right hand with a few drams of single barrel Scotch from the Whisky Advent Calendar. Yeah, like I'll be able to spread that pot of peaty liquid gold over 24 whole days...

Cooling Gel Memory Foam Pillow

Sold Out Amazon »

The comfort of not waking up unable to rotate your neck more than 5 degrees to the left meets the comfort of not waking up sweatier than a fat man doing hot yoga in a polyester leisure suit. Sleep Innovations' reversible...

New Cult Comedy Movie Bundle

The key to turning your contemporary American comedy into a cult comedy classic: crusty day 3 stubble. And now you can relish all of your favorite razor-abhorring comedic actors of the 2000s ad infinitum with this Ultimate...