Miscellaneous
The End Is in Sight Black Electrical Tape
Um, they need to put a track of The End Is in Sight double contrasting-colored lines on all spooled adhesive products, not just black electrical tape. This is so simple, yet so useful in saving me 42 seconds and foot-stamping...
Da Vinci Ascent Vaporizer
Guess who got a new vaporizer. That's right. My friend Victor. Victor's favorite thing about his Da Vinci Ascent is the following statement describing it: "Provides 3 hours of vaping for loose leaf, herbs & oils." Three...
Guitdoorbell - Guitar Doorbell
The Guitdoorbell replaces irritating bing-bong! door chimes and refrains of "It's a small world" with the rich, resonant strum of a real acoustic guitar. Mounted face-down over a doorway in tandem with an underlying plectrum...
Cardio First Angel CPR Device
I've heard the ideal rate at which to administer effective chest compressions when doing CPR is in accordance to the beat of "Stayin' Alive." But I wonder, what if you're not a Bee Gees fan? What if you could stomach...
ZEUS Thunder Vaporizer
I received a sample of the ZEUS Thunder vaporizer pen for a state-of-matter-changing test drive. Unfortunately, it was right after my mama coerced me into signing an agreement to submit to random marijuana tests in exchange...
EmoSpark AI Home Console
If Her creeped you out (and let's face it, just looking at Joaquin Phoenix for more than 30 seconds straight can sometimes do the trick) get ready to have your stomach turned inside out again: EmoSpark, an Android-powered...
Oon Building Blocks Power Strip
I like the Oon power strip concept. Classy wood building blocks hiding the ugly two-prongs. They even get nostalgic, looking kinda like the building blocks I played with when I was a kid. The building blocks I played...
LaunchPAD - Fleshlight iPad Case (NSFW)
Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...
Flick Killjoy Candles
Well, in all fairness, every single one of Flicking Candle Company's Flick Candles isn't a complete killjoy. I mean, sure, there's Cancelled Vacation, Defriend, Grandma's Last Christmas Tree, and Freshman 15 Pound Cake...
6-Outlet Surge Protector with Dual USB Ports
Over 5,400 Amazon reviewers are eager to share their experiences with Belkin's SurgePlus, a wall-mounted surge protector with 6 outlets and 2 USB ports. Over 5,400! And they give it an average rating of 4 stars! That's...
Galactic Cap Just-the-Tip Condom
"The Galactic Cap is a condom men will want to wear and their partners will love. A better alternative, it will increase condom use and promote healthier sex." Want to wear? Partners will love? Well. Considering this...
Magic Tank Emergency Fuel
The problem with not filling up until your gas light comes on isn't that you're being carelessly dangerous or unwittingly living on the edge, it's that sometimes you get stuck inside ginormous gridlocked clusterclucks...
Aros Smart Window Air Conditioner
I like how anymore anything that's not a "smart" whatever it is gets labeled a "dumb" whatever it is. According to Quirky, which recently made Dr. Garthen Leslie's Aros Smart Window Air Conditioner available for purchase...
Japanese Electric Piston Masturbator (NSFW)
Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found...
Blobfish Plush
Snuggle up with God's ugliest creature. It's true. The blobfish wins all the Most Horrific Beast on the Planet contests, and as I've previously mentioned here, I think it might be my curse to be reincarnated as one. Legend...
Buzzy Pain Blocker
Buzzy helps relieve the pain of shots, lab draws, bee stings, burns, burning medicines, Band-Aid rip-offs, and tattoos. Tattoos? Really? I mean, I can get behind a vibrating ice pack fashioned in the likeness of a bumblebee...
Snore Activated Nudging Pillow
This pillow saves the person sleeping next to you the trouble of "inadvertently" delivering an elbow to the ribs when you're snoring louder than a wounded bull. How? First it detects these disturbances of the peace with...
Raunchy Wrapping Paper (NSFW)
Raunchy Wrap R-rated wrapping paper reminds me of something my lyrical hero Ludacris once said during his guest vocals on Usher's smash hit dance track "Yeah": "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed." This...
Heimlich Helper - DIY Choking Aid
Better be extra cautious devouring those 3 dozen inferno wings today. With all the accompanying excitement and beer, there is at least a 40% chance of inhaling bone, and about the same chance no one is going to notice...
You Is Fine Bears
Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh... Basically every time I see her all I can...
Illoom Balloons
Oompa Loompas don't need brooms, they use Illoom Balloons to zoom o'er the moon...
Flat Panel Heater
One time I stepped outside my back door and it was -8 degrees and the snot froze in my nostrils. That time was yesterday. But during these frigid winter months, instead of jacking up my home's central heating system...
Star Wars Pipes
One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a...
Bed Fan with Wireless Remote
I've always thought how nice it would be to have a cool, consistent breeze blowing up my shorts. I'm actually in the process of developing my own take on Air Jordans, called Air Up There Jordans. They'll have a ring-shaped...