Bird Cage Table
- Stone Cottage Bird Cage - $67.99
- Treetops Small Bird Habitat - $79.99
- Brownstone Bird Cage - $74.99
- Mason Jar Wild Bird Feeder - $22.51
- Poop-Off Anywhere Bird Poop Remover Wet Wipes - $11.95
Wow. It's a wonder that Gregoire de Laforrest's Cage Archibird can be so stunningly beautiful, yet also so stunningly the antithesis of sanitation. A bird cage built into a functional table? A table that looks primed and ready for, say, a DIY taco buffet? Ugh. It's almost as bad as cat owners who allow their litter box pee- and poo-footed felines to walk all over their kitchen countertops. G-ross. Might as well just sit some ampules of Chlamydia psittaci bacteria in the cage with a detonator set to go off at the height of Thanksgiving dinner.
My dad used to have a bird. He kept it caged in the far corner of our kitchen and I had to hold my breath every time I walked by it for fear of inhaling some infectious disease emanating from its perpetual deposits of swirly green-and-white shit. Then one day the family Shih Tzu lured the bird down from its protective perch and shook it to death. A highly intelligent dog that Domino was.
de Laforrest constructed his bird cage table as a piece of art and, since he's French, probably a piece of contemptuous social commentary as well. Like about how society always tries to stifle people with wings, keeping them caged and close to the ground. Or how from a waist-down, Cage Archibird bird's-eye view, the world is nothing but a bunch of asses, dicks, and see you next Tuesdays.
Muchas danke to Geekologie.