Bird Cage Table
/bird-cage-table-9073.jpg "Bird Cage Table")
- Stone Cottage Bird Cage - $67.99
- Treetops Small Bird Habitat - $79.99
- Brownstone Bird Cage - $74.99
- Mason Jar Wild Bird Feeder - $22.51
- Poop-Off Anywhere Bird Poop Remover Wet Wipes - $11.95
Wow. It's a wonder that Gregoire de Laforrest's Cage Archibird can be so stunningly beautiful, yet also so stunningly the antithesis of sanitation. A bird cage built into a functional table? A table that looks primed and ready for, say, a DIY taco buffet? Ugh. It's almost as bad as cat owners who allow their litter box pee- and poo-footed felines to walk all over their kitchen countertops. G-ross. Might as well just sit some ampules of Chlamydia psittaci bacteria in the cage with a detonator set to go off at the height of Thanksgiving dinner.
My dad used to have a bird. He kept it caged in the far corner of our kitchen and I had to hold my breath every time I walked by it for fear of inhaling some infectious disease emanating from its perpetual deposits of swirly green-and-white shit. Then one day the family Shih Tzu lured the bird down from its protective perch and shook it to death. A highly intelligent dog that Domino was.
de Laforrest constructed his bird cage table as a piece of art and, since he's French, probably a piece of contemptuous social commentary as well. Like about how society always tries to stifle people with wings, keeping them caged and close to the ground. Or how from a waist-down, Cage Archibird bird's-eye view, the world is nothing but a bunch of asses, dicks, and see you next Tuesdays.
Muchas danke to Geekologie.
/fletcher-capstan-worlds-56982.jpg?mode=crop "Fletcher Capstan - World's Coolest Expandable Table")
Fletcher Capstan - World's Coolest Expandable Table
World's. Coolest. Not an understatement. Take 10 seconds to watch the Fletcher Capstan expandable table video, and the rest of the day off work to recover from your blown mind. Or maybe you'll disagree that the mesmerizing...
/the-birds-nest-bed-10877.jpg?mode=crop "The Bird's Nest Bed")
The Bird's Nest Bed
The Bird's Nest Bed can accommodate up to 16 people at once. Take note swingers, Mormons, women undergoing IVF treatments, and the Duggar family! The giant basin of comfort was brainstormed and brought to life by O*GE...
Working Nintendo Controller Coffee Table
What holds feet, beer, and the controls that will drive your world-record-setting Tetris score? Feast your eyes on the fully-functional Nintendo Controller Coffee Table. Charles Lushear has entwined old school entertainment...
/swing-convertible-table-31455.jpg?mode=crop "SWING Convertible Table & Shelf")
SWING Convertible Table & Shelf
The SWING convertible table-to-shelf is magic! Not quite Fletcher Capstan magic, but still a pretty sweet design from EVE Collection, especially for those with limited space for furniture...
Float Levitating Table
Oh holy balls, it's a Rubik's Cube with the structural integrity of a marshmallow. In laymen's terms. In technical terms, the Float table is "a matrix of 'magnetized' wooden cubes that levitate with respect to one another."...
JAG Communal Grill Table
I don't really want a JAG Grill for myself. I mean, it's a lot of money and seems like a lot of work to put together and maintain, and then you have to, like, clean it... But I am very much in favor of someone I know...
/the-abyss-table-13242.jpg "The Abyss Table")
The Abyss Table
I don't know if falling onto Duffy London's forthcoming oceanic cross-section coffee table will send you into The Abyss, but I can almost guarantee running into it will stub all of your toes and bloody your entire leg...
/kotatsu-heated-table-24782.jpg?mode=crop "Kotatsu Heated Table")
Kotatsu Heated Table
Do you have to be a girl to want one of these super-cozy-looking Japanese Kotatsu? Do you have to be a girl to use the term "super-cozy-looking?" Oh well then. Call me a big ol' girl and send me a big ol' heated blanket...
Interactive LED Tables
I hope anyone who has one of these nifty Interactive LED Tables also has a few gallons of disinfectant on hand, because the two primary modes of interaction I foresee with their pressure-sensitive, illuminative surfaces...
/oscillot-cat-containment-25563.jpg?mode=crop "Oscillot Cat Containment System")
Oscillot Cat Containment System
On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...
/the-coolest-coffee-table-44972.jpg?mode=crop "The Coolest Coffee Table")
The Coolest Coffee Table
The Coolest Coffee Table is hiding things. So many wonderful things. It's like the Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory of living room furniture! Or, more directly, The Coolest Cooler of coffee tables...
Star Wars Coffee Table
Could there be a more practical application for Star Wars action figures? I mean, aside from figuring out how to animate them, and building an army to storm the George Lucas compound? James Chillcott's mixed media coffee...