Giant Cockroach Float

Posted: May 16, 2014

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Don't worry. The makers of the Giant Cockroach assure us that, like sexy time toys and weight loss pills, your 6-foot-tall, 40-inch-wide pool float crafted in the image of the country's most reviled vermin will ship in a plain brown box to protect your reputation. Unless you're ordering a Giant Cockroach as a gag gift or want to exact revenge upon the UPS guy. In that case, the company will ink the box with their CAUTION: Contents include cockroach the size of Zach Galifianakis stamp.

I don't know about you, but being able to ride a massive brown hexapod around the community center pool this summer while all the little kids worship me as Roach Master and their stick-up-the-trunk mothers give me dirty looks could solidify our impending season as the best of my life. Giddy-up, Hank! Let's see those legs scurry through the water as fast as they do across my floor when I catch you eating the rest of the Kung Pao chicken I was too lazy to throw out before I crashed on the couch last night!

As its creators openly admit, Nothing says "Weird" like a six-foot-tall-inflatable cockroach. Especially when you can float on it. They recommend everyone aged 12 and over either add a Giant Cockroach to their own family, or ship one off to a deserving recipient, such as a favorite entomologist or exterminator, World's Best Dad on Father's Day, or the guy who needs another passenger to use the HOV lane. Obviously a Giant Cockroach float will also change the life of any man who habitually strikes out with the ladies.

The Giant Cockroach float is a top Dude Novelty Gift pick.

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