Tools

Elasto-Lok Tactical Gear Clip

$4.99 Amazon »

Compatible with MOLLE bags (and probably, like, Jansport backpacks too), the Elasto-Lok from Duraflex is a multipurpose fastener that will secure anything from flashlights during camping trips to machetes during military...

Military Grade Rubber Bands

Discontinued

Calling them rubber bands on steroids would be figuratively accurate (and obviously sounds cool), but what Ranger Bands really are are big ol' cut hunks of bicycle tubes*. Thick and strong like my...hands...these military...

First 24 Survival Kit

$1,499 Taurus »

I hope our current obsession with survival gear and bug out bags and general disaster preparedness means we're not actually going to have to face the collapse of the world in the near future. Because when it comes to...

Cyalume SnapLight Industrial Light Sticks

$18.78 Amazon »

I always knew light sticks were good for raves and Midnight Zombie 5Ks, but lookie here: they're also good for providing instant, 360-degree illumination in emergency situations or ultra-dark working conditions. Cyalume...

Military Prismatic Sighting Compass

$11.99 Amazon »

I don't think it will do much for blindness, but this Military Prismatic Sighting Compass could be your Amazing Grace for being lost. Features of the camo-printed conquerer of directions include:...

Ceramic Escape Knife

$15 Gearward »

While it's a tough reality to face, the truth is that most of us don't have Liam Neeson on call to stage a rescue in the event of an abduction. So it's a good thing we do have people like Mark Greenman out there to take...

Death Wrench Tools

Discontinued

My favorite slayers of the walking dead over at Zombie Hammer have expanded their market. Now in addition to using their American steel implements of doom to whack zombies, you can also use them to fix a leaky pipe and...

Leatherman Tread Wearable Multi-Tool

$164.85 - $219.85 Amazon »

Leatherman's new baby Tread, a multi-tool worn on the wrist, is so brand new it hasn't quite popped out of the oven yet. But before you start leaving interminably clever, "This site should be called Dude You Can't Have...

Gorilla Torch with Wrappable Legs

Sold Out Amazon »

Huh. A gorilla that looks like an octopus and acts like a koala bear. And by comparison, the new Gorilla Torch 100 is to its predecessor as King Kong is to an eastern lowland silverback: over 50% brighter, significantly...

The Siege Lantern

$43.99 Amazon »

When the tent's a-rockin', don't go a-knockin'. Bombard them with 360 degrees of extreme LED brightness instead. Right, Pop? The Siege Lantern from Streamlight boasts 5 x C4 power LEDs that output 340 lumens of light...

Benchmade Contego Folding Knife

Sold Out Amazon »

"Contego" is Spanish for "protect" or "shield." Which is ironic since my first order of business, were I to own Bechmade's Contego Folding Knife, would be to use it to tear through others' supposed shields. Boxes from...

Portable Tow Truck

$53.99 Amazon »

Maybe you like to ski, or build snowmen, or throw balls of ice at punk little kids who give your mama's pristinely white front yard a lawn job. Me, I'm not into any of those things. I think winter sucks. And the suckiest...

FLIR Scout Night Vision Monocular

Sold Out Amazon »

Presumably the FLIR Scout is a higher quality night vision monocular than the Night Owl*. To match its price point, which has been increased by...whoa, tenfold. That's even higher than the sevenfold of God's wrath that...

Ultraloud Titanium Emergency Whistle

$19.95 Amazon »

One more reason not to whistle at a lady: she might whistle back at you. At 120 decibels like a mother f'ing banshee. NiteCore's NWS10 claims to be the loudest emergency whistle on the market. Based on the above YouTube...

Zipper LED Light & Bottle Opener

Sold Out Amazon »

How about a zipper LED light and bottle opener to complement your zipper knife? One for the jacket zipper, the other for the hoodie zipper, and just like that, instant readiness to light the way back home, crack open...

Cold Steel War Hammer

Discontinued

The Cold Steel War Hammer is for striking, piercing, crushing, and bludgeoning opponents. Hopefully opponents that are, say, drywalls scheduled for demo and sides of beef purchased from your local farmer's market, not...

CashStash Waterproof Emergency Cash Capsule

Sold Out Amazon »

A backup $20. A lucky $2 bill. An extra hundo juuust in case I'm too drunk to realize she's going to charge me for these services. The True Utility CashStash is a waterproof capsule sized to fit a keyring and hold a single...

LifeBox UltraCharge Power Bank & Car Jump Starter

Discontinued

The LifeBox UltraCharge is a 3-in-1 companion for times when cruising the open road turns into getting stuck on the side of the road. Its 10,000 mAH battery serves as both a charger for electronics, plus a jump starter...

Zip Blade Zipper Knife

$11.63 Amazon »

This 0.68" fine edge utility blade has enough pluck to strip wire, cut cardboard, and slice through clamshell packaging. I bet it could even slash open the zipper it's hanging from when it gets stuck, like, every third...

Leatherman Skeletool Multitool

Discontinued

The Skeletool CX trims the fat of multitools that may be equally useful, but pack too many implements, and too much weight into their frame. Leatherman keeps it light and low-profile with an EDC item outfitted only with...

Holiday Gift Guide: The Great Outdoors

Just you, the squirrels, the trees, and a 42" Chinese dadao flat ground to an edge that could take them all out in one fell swoop! That's the Great Outdoors I'm talkin' about!...

RoboReel Motorized Power Cord

Discontinued

The RoboReel Power Cord System stores 50' of 12-gauge extension cord in a compact, portable ball. Its 3 outlets can accommodate multiple power tools at once, and a 360-degree rotational axis provides access over a 100'...

Night Owl Night Vision Monocular

$199.99 Amazon »

On the one hand I hate turning lights on when I have to take a leak in the middle of the night, but on the other hand my mama hates it when I miss the bowl. Or use the bathtub just to be safe. If you're like me, or if...

R.A.T.S. Rapid Application Tourniquet

Sold Out Amazon »

If I'm traipsing through the middle of nowhere and slip on a lichen-spewing rock that sends me plummeting over a 3-foot dropoff such that I suddenly find myself in need of a Rapid Application Tourniquet System I can guarantee...