Tools

I know. There are only so many multi-tools one can own. But only one multi-tool one can own also impersonates the precious, innocuous fish who died on you (possibly repeatedly) during childhood. What up, Guppie Multi-Tool?...

A little morbidity to go with your coffee and intent gaze of surfing the Web for non-work-related diversions today? The idea for Havalon sporting scalpels arose from watching taxidermists at work. Havalon's parent company...

I think it would be very uncomfortable to get axed in the head with this Trucker's Friend. I guess that's why they picked a zombie to play the receiving end of the axing-someone-in-the-head demonstration. So no one would...

Honestly, the Vipukirves Leveraxe initially intrigued me because the guy holding it in one of the above photos is wearing black-and-white gloves that sort of make him look like he has a hook hand, and I thought perhaps...

Which is better: Stargate or Major League? You think about that for the next hundred or so words while I discuss Nite Ize's reflective rope. Outdoorsy types and people who give two thumbs up to bondage will find the reflective...

Sick of hearing about the Zombie Apocalypse? Me too. I'm also sick of hearing about how pretty soon my mama's going to kick me out of her house and stop paying for my cell phone bill and all of my chips and cereal, thus...

Look like less of a redneck burning your trash with this handy paper log maker. The deep metal box accepts newspapers, junk mail, cardboard, wood chips, and wrapping paper, but probably not Taco Bell bags because the...

Maybe the coolest thing about the Grizzly Robotic Utility Vehicle is that it's smaller than it looks. Like, I could sit on it and make it drive me around, profiting from its design as an all-electric workhorse with the...

The T3 Tactical Triage & Auto Rescue Tool came forth into the world from the cranial loins of NY City Paramedic Avi Goldstein. Or maybe he just picked it to be part of his online store StatGear's survival inventory. Either...

They're terming Brook & Hunter's axe of a thousand ways to destroy and maim a "garden tool". Yeah, for all the "weeding" I have to do when gangs of Girl Scouts jump me in the grocery store parking lot because I dissed...

It's not that I don't like trees, it's just that sometimes they really piss me off and I feel compelled to take a few swings at them with my powerful axe. I think this serves as an appropriate warning and encourages them...

Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who...

Though he'll probably stick with Mjolnir for wailing on Loki, if Thor were a construction worker I bet he would use one of Wilton's BASH Unbreakable Sledge Hammers. Touted the toughest sledge ever built, BASHes with heads...

Screw light, low-profile, and practical. I live in the USA. I want the biggest and the best. Even if the biggest and the best means so cumbersome and heavy it makes me look like I have a gimp leg when I carry it in my...

1. Check out the video above of a dude dumping Hershey's Chocolate Syrup on a white Keds tennis shoe treated with NeverWet. 2. Be amazed by NeverWet's water-, oil-, and apparent chocolate-syrup-repelling technology. 3...

It's getting to be timber time. Cracklin' fires will soon be calling for fuel. Kindling. Logs. Disembodied zombie parts. And real men--the kind of men who fell trees and split their own firewood instead of buying it at...

It's the 21st century. Who buys a flashlight whose only capability is to shed light anymore? When I'm looking for my 1:12 scale Voltron in the attic, hunting zombies in the Ozarks, or self-examining my throat for the...

So the official name of this serrated slasher is Japanese Pruning Saw, but I think that's just because online marketplaces whose customer bases are mostly over-compensated, uninformed hipsters and yuppies want to subtly...

Why didn't I think of this? Probably because I've only hammered a few times in my life and it was usually into drywall. In a world of tools born from overdone simplicity, this is actually practical and functional. Protects...

This is some real MacGyver shit right here. This kit has absolutely everything. And even though Bear Grylls was found to be a big fake and a liar and a fraud and gay, this survival kit will save your ass the next time...