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Goomba Cufflinks

Posted: January 17, 2012
Goomba Cufflinks
$36
from
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If you like these goomba cufflinks, you probably hate wearing the types of shirts that require cufflinks, so owning a pair might make the inevitable wedding, funeral, Christmas party, or arraignment you have to dress up for an average of 2.7 times per year a little more bearable. Mario and Luigi's least ominous nemeses are made of hand-sculpted polymer clay and coated with a low-gloss glaze. They measure .75 x .85 inches, and are affixed to silver-plated links. When worn in a room brimming with egomaniacal bigwigs, a touch of the goomba on an offender's arm or back will shrink him to half his size. Beware, however, of brushing the same guy twice--at least not before some toadstool boosts him back up--as a second goomba encounter will make him freeze in shock and fall off the horizon.

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