Thumbcuff Keychains
OK, this keychain has more like mini handcuffs than true thumbcuffs dangling from it. But as handcuffs they'll only lock over, say, the 2 front legs of a Shih Tzu on the run from ripping off the canine CBD store. And as thumbcuffs, they give those on opposable lockdown a little too much freedom and range of motion.
The upside is that the keychain, while loaded with working cuffs and keys, is intended only as a novelty restraint, not a criminal one - the cuffs look like metal, but they're actually made of hard plastic. Thumbcuff keychains also come in a pack of 12, so they're perfect gifts for a party. Especially if you're having that kind of party.
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TIHK - Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key
The Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key is intended for use by trained law enforcement, military, and security professionals only. However, TIHK will sell a pair of them to anyone with a credit card or other digital payment...
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BolaWrap 100 Handheld Remote Restraint Device
What's this, BolaWrap? Taser meets...lasso?! Sign me up! ... Er, on the delivering, not the receiving end, please...
Uncuff Links
Cufflinks that brandish all-caps disclaimers and warnings? My interest is piqued. Sparrows, peddler of lock picks and other Houdini-style tomfoolery, introduces Uncuff Links, wrist adornments that inconspicuously incorporate...
/readyman-hostage-escape-credit-22791.jpg "Readyman Hostage Escape Credit Card")
Readyman Hostage Escape Credit Card
This is all of course presuming you get to keep your wallet after you've been taken hostage. And that you can maneuver your cuffed, roped, or zip-tied hands inside it to grab Readyman's credit card of escape tools. Oh...
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Road Rage Restrictor
What?! Road Rage Restrictor? Middle finger on lockdown? Well, more like Pointer, Ring Finger, and Pinky on lockup. But, but, why? One of the only redeeming qualities of driving today is being able to flip off other drivers...
Titanium Handcuff Ring
Like the Titanium Utility Ring, Bruce Boone's Titanium Handcuff Ring owns a slot in his Laser Cut Series of jewelry. The mini finger cuff precisely matches a full-size bad (or naughty) guy restraint, and even opens and...
/pirate-handcuffs-26567.jpg "Pirate Handcuffs")
Pirate Handcuffs
Pirate Handcuffs. Oh gee, whaddaya think most people are gonna use these for? Yep, I think so too: citizen's arrests. Too bad Dev and Denise didn't have a pair on that episode of Master of None when they citizen's arrested...
Tritium Keychains
Two things. One maybe you already know, one probably you don't. 1) Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen, and its natural occurrence on earth is extremely rare. However, the dopeness that is humankind can produce...
/monkey-fist-paracord-self-14800.jpg "Monkey Fist Paracord Self Defense Keychain")
Monkey Fist Paracord Self Defense Keychain
"This Monkey Fist unit looks like a simple harmless keychain. However, in the unfortunate event that you need to defend yourself this powerful self defense keychain will stun and maim your attacker." And how is that?...
Panny Key Block
I've seen a Veruca Salt-sized Santa Claus sack of wallet and keychain "innovations" over the past few years, and while Panny may not turn the world on its head like the Coin card consolidator, it's definitely making a...
Brutus the Bulldog Self Defense Keychain
Add some extra spice to your knuckle sandwich. On a typical day, Brutus the Bulldog simply tricks out the keys to your Honda Civic. But on the day you leave the Civic at home, and get jumped walking home from the bar...
/titanium-alloy-tritium-12432.jpg?mode=crop "Titanium Alloy Tritium Keychains")
Titanium Alloy Tritium Keychains
OK, this is like the Goldilocks & the Three Bears of tritium keychains. The first set we featured was by far the coolest and most coveted, but also the hardest to acquire. Many readers deemed the task impossible. Then...