Pug Bag
/pug-bag-10159.jpg "Pug Bag")
- Pug-opoly - $24.99
- Pug Makeup Bag - $19.00
- Pug Zipper Coin Purse - $11.95
- Pug Eyeglasses Case - $9.95
- Pug Wine Bottle Stopper - $13.99
Obviously all women who carry a pug bag are certifiably crazy, but I think it should also be a rule of logic that all certifiably crazy women carry a pug bag. You know, as demarcation. So that we're fairly warned before we innocuously ask them out for a drink and then suddenly, 4 months later, wake up to a lecture about how we should actually fast on Thanksgiving at a tribute to all the turkeys whose lives were lost to our greed and indulgence. Ahem, Cornelius. Have fun starving on lentils and tempeh, and meditating at the Far East bookstore this year while I spend all day horizontal watching football on my friend Victor's couch, and eating so much gravy-soaked bird that I cluck every time I belch to make room for more.
Pug bags have the dog's face printed on both sides for double the horror, plus soft, movable ears for real live pugs to chew on. Inside are a single zipper pocket and 2 smartphone pockets.
/just-text-us-doormat-42515.jpg?mode=crop "Just Text Us Doormat")
Just Text Us Doormat
"Just text us when you're here. No need to knock and get the dogs involved." Whether you're a pet owner or not, this doormat sends a relatable message. And since anyone who comes over is certainly on their phone right...
/no-more-woof-dog-to-human-53708.jpg?mode=crop "No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator")
No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator
From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery - yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson - comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops...
/king-bed-with-doggie-insert-20463.jpg?mode=crop "King Bed with Doggie Insert")
King Bed with Doggie Insert
Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side...
/ifetch-automatic-ball-launcher-8269.jpg?mode=crop "iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher")
iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher
iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle...
/cuss-collar-a-collar-that-42745.jpg?mode=crop "Cuss Collar - A Collar that Curses When Your Dog Barks")
Cuss Collar - A Collar that Curses When Your Dog Barks
Though the Cuss Collar sounds like a punishment for your foul-mouthed kids - or your husband - its application and function are a lot more literal. The Cuss Collar is a dog collar that swears whenever your dog barks...
/et-of-the-most-paw-pular-dog-61199.jpg?mode=crop "16 of the Most Paw-Pular Dog Gifts for 2023")
16 of the Most Paw-Pular Dog Gifts for 2023
These are 16 of the most paw-pular dog gifts for 2023 according to me. A dude who doesn't own a dog. But having been called a dog myself in the past, along with other canine-related terms, such as "butt sniffer," "drool...
/beetl-robotic-poop-scooper-40843.jpg?mode=crop "Beetl Robotic Poop-Scooper")
Beetl Robotic Poop-Scooper
Beetlpoop, Beetlpoop, Beetlpoop!* When you say the words to the Beetl Robotic Poop-Scooper though, it doesn't make an insolent and conniving dead guy appear, it makes the turds your (perhaps insolent and conniving) dog...
/dogeden-underground-dog-31254.jpg?mode=crop "DogEden - Underground Dog House")
DogEden - Underground Dog House
Wait, is this a DogEden or DogeDen? Or both? And if you like what they did with the name of this underground dog house, check out the video and behold what Miller Pet Products did with the underground dog house itself...
/led-dog-projector-for-dog-61460.jpg?mode=crop "LED Dog Projector for Dog Collars")
LED Dog Projector for Dog Collars
This LED projector attaches to dog collars to project...dogs...on the ground in front of your...dog. But, but...why? Because dogs appreciate other dogs lighting their way in the dark? Because dogs are pack animals and...
/clawgs-paw-wear-that-allows-45411.jpg?mode=crop "Clawgs - Dog Shoes That Allow Dogs to Use Their Claws")
Clawgs - Dog Shoes That Allow Dogs to Use Their Claws
Clawgs, dog shoes - or rather dog sandals - don't surprise me in the least. For years now dog owners have thrived on making their pets look ridiculous under the guise of comfort and protection. Who remembers the Shed...
Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs
Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself...
Wiener Dog Earplugs
I don't know who let the dogs out, and thanks to these Mimi Pet Nagai Dachshund earplugs I'll never hear anyone else wonder, Who, who, who, who?! again...