Star Trek: The Next Generation Hoodies
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They may be only moderately reminiscent of the uniforms Picard & Co. wore in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but definitely these hoodies will be more comfortable, breathable, and sported acceptably by all shapes and sizes than the Enterprise crew's stifling Spandex, gut-and-ass-spotlighting wardrobe. ThinkGeek's zip-up nod to the pinnacle of sci-fi franchises even runs up to size XXXL.
The Command (red), Sciences (blue), and Operations (gold) sweatshirts feature hoods with colored piping along their edges such that when the hood is down it mimics the Enterprise member's uniform collar. ThinkGeek notes their intentional design of the exclusive hoodie without pips so buyers can add their own, accurate reflections of current Starfleet rank.
World's Tackiest Sweaters
Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of...
Drinkmaster Hoodie
Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate...
Passages - The William Shatner Watch
Now, is the Passages the kind of Shatner watch that can command an Enterprise, or the kind of Shatner watch that encourages you to name the price you'll pay for it, and if there are any left in stock, it's yours? Well...
Star Trek: TOS Bluetooth Communicator
In the original Star Trek series, the communicator was a super long-range walkie-talkie Starfleet ships used to message between or within each other. Over time, it became an artifact of the future as seen through the...
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Ramen Hoodie
Eat it or wear it, that's what my grandma used to say. It was meant to be a threat, but now that I see this delightfully loud and obnoxious Ramen Hoodie, I think I would like to retroactively choose the latter. I'll wear...
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Loewe Pixelated Clothing
No, not Lowe's. Unfortunately, because then the Pixelated Clothing collection might be reasonably priced and rugged enough to hang drywall in. But this is Loewe, Spanish luxury fashion house, and designers of 8bit denim...
Starfleet Machine Clock
According to Swiss engineering lab MB&F, the "Starfleet Machine is an intergalactic spaceship-cum-table clock." Man. I write countless strange, hyperbolic, and often idiotic descriptions of products every single day yet...
Harvard Law...Just Kidding Sweatshirt
I've been looking for the perfect Christmas gift to give my crestfallen cousin, who just received his rejection letter from Harvard Law. I hate my cousin. He's an insolent little twat. I was going to anonymously send...
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Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie
Built-in nap protocol: score. Hydrophobic and water-repellent: score. Windproof: score. Cozy and insulated: score. The Baker Miller Hoodie scores a lot of points for being slick and functional. But how many does it lose...
Harley Quinn Hoodie
Gee boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. DC Universe supervillain Harley Quinn serves as the inspiration for another Geeky U reimagination of the hoodie. (Previous take: Link from The Legend of Zelda.)...
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Dapper Defender Armored Kevlar Motorcycle Hoodie
While it's still not clear what a Graphene Jacket can do for you, there's no question what a motorcycle hoodie lined with Kevlar and CE-rated armor is here for. Dapper Defender's hoodie gives bikers some extra protection...
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James T. Kirk Bourbon
A few shots of James T. Kirk Bourbon will allow men to boldly go where no man has gone before: to Tom Brady's doorstep with a trench coat, boombox, and all the right words to convince Gisele she should leave him for you...