Bodily Candles
/bodily-candles-16655.jpg "Bodily Candles")
- Old Man's Balls Scented Candle - $16.99
- Witches Brew Scented Bleeding Skull Candle - $8.00
- Finger Candles - $17.09
- Skeleton Hand Candle - $19.99
- Dog Vomit Scented Candle - $16.99
Been looking for some tabletop art to spruce up the living room? How's about a pair of candles made from the ears of Sloth and the mouth of the fat lady's face Arnold wore in Total Recall? These odd waxen pieces, called Bodily Candles, almost match the one of Toht's melting face in the Most Disturbing Wicked Object category.
Sold singly in styles Disgusted Mouth and Ears, the Bodily Candles look only slightly more creepy while burning than they do just sitting there. So, yeah, a swell addition even to places you don't plan to light them, such as your desktop at work or the ledge of the toilet tank right before the fam comes over to your mama's house for Easter dinner. Candles are hand cast using layers of wax, so each one may present a subtly different skin tone. Disgusted Mouth is made from eco soya wax, whiles Ears grows from micro-crystalline wax.
Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick
While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep... Working from home today... Anyway, I applaud...
/wtf-prank-candles-55498.jpg?mode=crop "WTF Prank Candles")
WTF Prank Candles
WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the...gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...
/fun-with-anatomical-optical-39428.jpg?mode=crop "Fun with Anatomical Optical Illusions (NSFW)")
Fun with Anatomical Optical Illusions (NSFW)
I've found some choice anatomical optical illusions for your viewing pleasure this evening (or morning with your computer rearview mirror on your monitor at work). Most are just momentary illusions whose true nature is...
Diamond Ring Candles
Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...
Man Can - Gun Powder Scented Candle
Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift...
/skull-candle-holder-with-61498.jpg?mode=crop "Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle")
Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle
Bleeding candles are nothing new...huh. What a weird truth. I can think of at least 2 types of bleeding candle I have already shown you - The Melting Hand Bloody Candle and Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding
/my-last-fck-candle-44928.jpg?mode=crop "My Last F*ck Candle")
My Last F*ck Candle
My Last F*ck Candle. Presumably this is the one you'll burn when all of the disasters, the shockers, and the newest pieces of trash to hit social media become too much to process, too much to reconcile. When the only...
Liquid Latex Black Light Body Paint (NSFW)
This Liquid Latex Body Paint Black Light Kit is pretty self-explanatory. I don't have much to say about it. Except that, in perusing the image gallery above...I think I found Waldo. It wasn't even that hard. I mean, before...
Raiders of the Lost Ark Melting Toht Candle
Nothing like a hot day in the south or the Ark of the Covenant to make you feel like your face is gonna melt off. Though after my wee and innocent 6-year-old eyes were scarred for life watching Major Arnold Ernst Toht...
/torch-plant-light-botanical-16519.jpg "Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle")
Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle
How precious. A floating puff of plant with an LED light at its end. Though overpriced by a factor of 8, the Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle is a clever centerpiece designed by Japan's Pianta x Stanza to look like...
/skeleton-in-a-skull-bathtub-61403.jpg?mode=crop "Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle")
Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle
Is there some sort of metaphor to be drawn from the Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle? Take a dip in your own mind? Relax with your thoughts? Wade through your memories...and maybe figure out how you died and got cursed...
/tagband-skin-tag-remover-41609.jpg?mode=crop "Micro TagBand Skin Tag Remover")
Micro TagBand Skin Tag Remover
The Micro TagBand skin tag remover is a tiny, low-tech tool for popping off bulbous mounds of excess flesh by way of slow strangulation...