SH*T-IN-M'TEETH Toothpicks
/sht-in-mteeth-toothpicks-15017.jpg "SH*T-IN-M'TEETH Toothpicks")
- The Decent Man's Grooming Tools Mess Kit - $19.88
- Voodoo Man Toothpick Holder - $9.99
- Pirate Flad Toothpick - $8.95
- Cactus Toothpick Holder - $12.95
- Bacon Flavored Toothpicks - $5.95
Popcorn. Milk Duds. The kale chips I once ate on a date so the chick would think I'm healthy and open minded that subsequently led her ditch me once little bits of them got stuck in the crevices of my gums and then flew out and hit her in the face every time I laughed at something hilarious I said. This is the SHIT-IN-M'TEETH that requires more than a toothpick to deal with. The SHIT-IN-M'TEETH that necessitates the use of straight up dental excavation tools. The SHIT-IN-M'TEETH that needs a set of SHIT-IN-M'TEETH.
SHIT-IN-M'TEETH is a credit card-sized set of oral hygiene helpers. Created by Erik Noyes to combat "dental damnation", it includes a pick axe, jack hammer, battle axe, sword, missile, some traditional toothpicks for good measure, and a mirror for navigating the extermination effort. The tools will arrive laser-cut for popping out of a piece of die-stamped plastic and the back of the mirror will include SHIT-IN-M'TEETH operation instructions.
Hoping to end the embarrassment and shame of conducting your day with a large hunk of blueberry or extra course grind of pepper lingering in your lateral incisor, Noyes is promoting his SHIT-IN-M'TEETH tools on Kickstarter through January 1, 2015.
Blizzident - 6-Second Toothbrush
It looks like someone put the inside of a sea urchin on the inside of a mouthpiece, but if Blizzident really works, I wouldn't care if it looked like one of the McPoyle brothers' armpits. I'll be able to brush my teeth--and...
/toothpick-crossbow-27758.jpg "Toothpick Crossbow")
Toothpick Crossbow
No computer, tablet, or phone needed to ping! your co-workers with this slick and stealthy mini crossbow. The palm-sized launcher loads up with toothpicks or Q-Tips, depending on how hard you want to let Dave three desks...
/puking-grogu-baby-yoda-48419.jpg?mode=crop "Puking Grogu Baby Yoda Toothpaste Topper")
Puking Grogu Baby Yoda Toothpaste Topper
Reminding people of vomit has always been a good way to get them to brush their teeth, but it goes a little differently when the Puking Grogu, a 3D-printed Baby Yoda toothpaste topper comes into play. Whereas normally...
Amabrush 10-Second Automatic Toothbrush
Amabrush says it's the World's First Automatic Toothbrush, but watching the demo video makes me think it's just the first time someone thought to cross a Blizzident with a vibrator...
Shark Tooth Weapons
Land shark! Or at least the scariest part of the shark now available to tear into human flesh on land. Dane Kealoha's shark tooth weapons style themselves after traditional blades and blunt implements with walloping power...
/dick-head-toothpaste-topper-52185.jpg?mode=crop "Dick-Head Toothpaste Topper Cap (NSFW)")
Dick-Head Toothpaste Topper Cap (NSFW)
The Dick-Head Toothpaste Topper Cap says, "Dude, you have the nicest teeth I've ever come across."...
/matador-refillable-travel-60870.jpg?mode=crop "Matador Refillable Travel Toothpaste Tubes")
Matador Refillable Travel Toothpaste Tubes
A Refillable Travel Toothpaste Tube, now that is a great idea. I am charging full speed ahead to get my horns on this waving red cape from Matador. (Note: the Refillable Toothpaste Tubes come in a set of black and white...
Rinser - The Water Fountain Toothbrush
My problem is that I'm so busy trying to Think Big that I often forget to Think Rational. Scott Amron obviously does not have this problem. His Rinser Toothbrush, whose tunneled handle serves as a spout that shoots faucet...
Dragon's Blood Medicinal Tree Sap
The Croton lechleri bleeds to save you from cuts, bacteria, acne, wrinkles, and receding gums. At least if you believe the loooong list of indications that come with each bottle of Dragon's Blood. Dragon's Blood is a...
Jet Black Toothpaste
Now this looks disgusting and promising. Binotomo Nasu Dentifrice, or Jet Black Toothpaste, expands upon the ideas that 1) adding charcoal powder to beauty products will extract skin impurities and whiten teeth, and 2)...
/titanium-toothpick-23934.jpg "Titanium Toothpick")
Titanium Toothpick
What can you do with a titanium toothpick? Why, dig out that bit of popcorn embedded in your molar as you leave a midnight showing of The Shining, and then...stab the eyes out! of the mugger who waits for dazed victims...
Archtek Toothpaste Tablets
Do you know how often I go to bed without brushing my teeth because I have fallen asleep on the couch, or stumbled home drunk, or am just flat out too lazy to go brush my teeth? Probably at least as often as I do gather...