Spider-Man Beanie
/spider-man-beanie-9657.jpg "Spider-Man Beanie")
Pamela Joyce Tan-Javate would like to warn people who wear her Spider-Man beanie that, unlike real spiders and Spider-Men, you have only 2 eyes, not 8. So if you're going for the full Spidey effect with the adjustable eye mask down, it is best to avoid activities that require vision, such as driving, skiing, biking, skating, and reading a Snellen chart. Sadly, fighting crime completely enmasked could prove problematic as well.
On the flip side, the Spider-Man beanie's sight impairment properties could be a super addition to some undertakings. Honing aural and tactile prowess. Sleeping through classes or business meetings. Making out with someone woefully unattractive.
Alter ego beanies take 2 to 3 weeks to produce, so if you're ordering for an occasion, plan accordingly. And for those who prefer to perfect their superhero aesthetic without sacrificing one of their 5 senses, check out Tan-Javate's Ninja Turtles beanie; its mask has the same air of valiance and intrigue as Spider-Man's, and it also has eyeball holes.
/furry-friend-bucket-hat-62206.jpg?mode=crop "Furry Friend Bucket Hat")
Furry Friend Bucket Hat
If the Cookie Monster had a baby with Barkley...or just, like, became a piece of hybrid merch at the hands of a Sesame Street fanatic...this Furry Friend Bucket Hat could easily be the result. Made with an abundance of...
/aviator-goggle-beanie-with-62139.jpg?mode=crop "Aviator Goggle Beanie with Face Muffler")
Aviator Goggle Beanie with Face Muffler
This Aviator Goggle Beanie and its detachable face muffler are for those who want to stay warm and incognito this winter, but aren't quite ready to commit to the Alien Sleeping Bag. The beanies are made of knitted acrylic...
Crocheted Knight Helmet
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/Kids-Ultimate-Bearded-Beanie-983.jpg?mode=crop "Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie")
Kids Ultimate Bearded Beanie
The bearded beanie is a perfect way to keep your kid warm and make him look like he has a beard. I have a feeling that it is also a great way to torment your kid, give him an itchy face, and possibly have lasting effects...
Princess Leia Beanie
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Electronic Spidey Sense Shirt
Good news for men itching for superpowers but hesitant to accept the body-suctioning spandex--and in this case noxious spider bite--that often accompanies them. The Marvel Electronic Spidey-Sense T-Shirt grants a heightened...
/carbon-fiber-fedora-23854.jpg "Stetson Carbon Fiber Fedora")
Stetson Carbon Fiber Fedora
Know when I could have used a carbon fiber fedora? Nope, that's not a question dripping in sarcasm whose answer is "Never." I really could have used a carbon fiber fedora last week when my girlfriend dragged me to some...
Ninja Turtles Beanie
If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose...
/gld-x-marvel-jewelry-56465.jpg?mode=crop "GLD x Marvel Jewelry")
GLD x Marvel Jewelry
Got drip? Yeah, that's right, I just described the new GLD x Marvel Jewelry collaboration using a Millennial meme combined with Gen Z slang. Because, like Deadpool, that's how groovy and rad I am...
/dexshell-waterproof-watch-56848.jpg?mode=crop "DexShell Waterproof Watch Beanie")
DexShell Waterproof Watch Beanie
You may not be singin' in the rain wearing a DexShell Waterproof Watch Beanie, but if you're out when the wet drops start to plop, at least your head will stay dry as you run, hike, camp, fish, walk to work, walk the...
Spider-Man Webbed Sunglasses
Maui Jim originally made these Special Edition Kekoa sunglasses for the Amazing Spider-Man, but the Amazing Spider-Man was all, "I'm the Amazing Spider-Man! I don't need no stinkin' UV protection! Also, I have four times...
/Marvel-Superhero-Brownie-Pan-160.jpg?mode=crop "Marvel Superhero Brownie Pan")
Marvel Superhero Brownie Pan
I don't know shit about baking, but I know plenty about eating. And these are gonna taste better than your average cupcake or brownie. And if they don't you can smash them into each other and see which one is the toughest...