Vesper Vibrator Necklace
Oooh, the Vesper Vibrator Necklace also comes in a 24K gold version in case you're still compiling your adults only Easter basket, or need a gift for Mother's Day.
...in 3, 2, 1....
Dude, I'm joking. I know it's not cool to give a vibrator to someone for Easter.
What? That's not what made you spit out your coffee or choke on your Cheetos? Then I don't get it.
What I do get is that Uncommon Goods, despite their name, doesn't typically deal in items of the sexy persuasion, and I love their intro to the Vesper Vibrator Necklace: "When it comes to self-care, calm and soothing is fundamental. But self-love isn't always about powering down." No, indeed it is not. It's about heading to the secret single bathroom on the 4th floor after a stressful meeting, ripping off your necklace, and firing it up to the max of its 4 speeds. Am I right, ladies?
Care instructions for post-use are to wipe the Vesper Vibrator "gently" with a soft cloth. Uh, I'd suggest gently but thoroughly, lest on the way back to your desk Fat Rick from IT gives you a funny look and asks if you're the one who took his Krispy Kremes 'cause it looks like you've got some leftover glaze there on your necklace.
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