Boobie Beanie for Breastfeeding Children...and Adults
A child breastfeeding in a boobie beanie: it's the most heartwarming breasticle spectacle I ever saw! Crocheted by Maggie Bass of Maggie's Craft Sale, these Breast Beanies keep all the heat in your wee infant's head, and all the eyes on the optical illusion across your chest as you breastfeed.
I imagine some ladies will not appreciate a boobie beanie that attracts attention to an activity they'd rather dissuade it from, but...those who enjoy this Dude's fine collection of curated content aren't likely to be in that group. It's a funny baby gift!
And, as I've alluded to in the boobie beanie title, an equally funny gift for adults. Maggie's Craft Sale will make you a Breast Beanie in Newborn, 3-6 Months, 6-12 Months, Child, and Grown Ass Man or Lady sizes. White Elephant and Dirty Santa parties 2021, check!
In addition to the full gamut of sizes, boobielicious Breast Beanies also come in 5 different, uh, colorways?, to reflect various skin tones.
Pinky Queen Nipple Lightener (NSFW)
I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like...
/the-tata-top-39533.jpg?mode=crop "The TaTa Top (NSFW)")
The TaTa Top (NSFW)
Where was the TaTa Top flesh-colored bikini with nipples when I was having fun with anatomical optical illusions a couple weeks ago? Guess I'll have to retroactively add this eye-(and pants-)popping swimsuit to my Breast...
/crown-nipple-rings-nsfw-50257.jpg?mode=crop "Crown Nipple Rings (NSFW)")
Crown Nipple Rings (NSFW)
Maybe she calls herself a queen. Maybe she calls herself a princess. She's definitely some level of royalty. So I think it's time to bow down and crown her. No, lower. Nooooo...not that low. This crown is for her nipple...
/snow-globe-sweaters-40711.jpg?mode=crop "Snow Globe Sweaters")
Snow Globe Sweaters
Don't be fooled! These here Snow Globe Sweaters are not cozy and adorable winter hats for snow globes. They're cozy and adorable winter hats for nipples! Like the ones on the ends of boobies. I really don't know why they've...
/candy-nipple-tassels-nsfw-51833.jpg?mode=crop "Candy Nipple Tassels (NSFW)")
Candy Nipple Tassels (NSFW)
If I buy my wife some of these Candy Nipple Tassels, I wonder if she'll let me call her "Sugar tits." Hold on, let me ask. ... ... OK, so that's a confirmed no...
/titty-tumblers-54411.jpg?mode=crop "Titty Tumblers")
Titty Tumblers
Practice your nip grip with a Titty Tumbler from Jasmine Pots. And if you can really take hold of a golden nipple, and drink from its ceramic cup without fully cupping it, then you're ready for some next-level grabbing...
/big-boobie-beach-ball-39820.jpg?mode=crop "Big Boobie Beach Ball")
Big Boobie Beach Ball
The entirety of the Big Boobie Beach Ball's product description reads as follows: "Hit the sand and bat around the Big Boobie Beach Ball. Looks like the real thing and holds up to hard play."...
/naked-lady-golf-tees-23165.jpg "Naked Lady Golf Tees")
Naked Lady Golf Tees
If you haven't already injected your Summer 2016 with some 1980s-era hilarity courtesy of the Butt Buoys or Floaty Pants, I have good nudes...
/10-images-i-cant-believe-are-43138.jpg?mode=crop "10 Images I Can't Believe Are Allowed on Amazon (NSFW)")
10 Images I Can't Believe Are Allowed on Amazon (NSFW)
And I mean very NSFW. I mean, it's not like I came across* these 10 images I can't believe are allowed on Amazon because I was searching for porn, boobies, or sex toys on Amazon. I was just minding my own business, perusing...
/fun-with-anatomical-optical-39428.jpg?mode=crop "Fun with Anatomical Optical Illusions (NSFW)")
Fun with Anatomical Optical Illusions (NSFW)
I've found some choice anatomical optical illusions for your viewing pleasure this evening (or morning with your computer rearview mirror on your monitor at work). Most are just momentary illusions whose true nature is...
Raunchy Wrapping Paper (NSFW)
Raunchy Wrap R-rated wrapping paper reminds me of something my lyrical hero Ludacris once said during his guest vocals on Usher's smash hit dance track "Yeah": "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed." This...
/virgin-bust-breast-lift-pads-30531.jpg?mode=crop "Virgin Bust Breast Lift Pads (NSFW)")
Virgin Bust Breast Lift Pads (NSFW)
When you see these Virgin Bust Breast Lift Pads do you think the same thing I do? Tune in, Tokyo. Tune in, Tokyo. No? Maybe just because you don't have all the information on the boobie-bettering cones yet. They fulfill...