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Vans Trek Rinseable Slip-On Shoes

$55 Vans »

Introducing Vans Trek Rinseable Slip-On Shoes. You can call them Rubber Vans. The not-sandals maintain the classic Vans silhouette - right down to their single-piece injected construction molded to replicate the Classic...

3D Animal Earrings

$13.99 Etsy »

Are these 3D animal earrings - 3D in both style and printing - not the most adorable skin skewers you've ever seen? From the cat that looks pissed to be stuck hanging from a lobe, to the narwhal who's wondering why he...

Firebird Nixie Tube Watch

Sold Out Etsy »

The myth, the legend, the Firebird. Nixie tube timepieces have carved out their niche amongst steampunk fans, tech geeks, and many a bachelor pad, but Nixie Watch Store's Firebird Nixie Tube Watch could look right at...

Baby Sleeping Bags

$84.95 - $179.95 Amazon »

Snug as a bug in a rug is right. These Baby Sleeping Bags from Morrison Outdoors are as adorable as they are functional. And by functional I mean, like wearable sleeping bags for adults, they will keep your kiddos warm...

Sword Earrings

$13.99 - $18.99 Etsy »

Not only does Stark Contrasts make 3D-printed Sword Earrings, Stark Contrasts makes 3D-printed She-Ra: Princess of Power Sword Earrings! Holy Etheria, Swift Wind, I thought I'd hit the jackpot with Astrosex, but Sword...

POC Shell Coat

Sold Out Amazon »

POC's Shell Coat, a piece of outerwear made for the ski slopes and fun days of shoveling snow, reminds me we have entered the tricky part of winter. The part where spring is, like, right there, and even officially here...

Victorian Corset Tank Top

$32 Etsy »

Wearing a corset is the easy kind of cinch without the suck-it-in kind of cinch if you're wearing a Victorian Corset Tank Top from Fox Savant. The tank has a hand-drawn depiction of the sexy shaper on both the front and...

Descente x SUICOKE KISEE-DSV Performance Sandals

$350 Descente »

Before I slip my foot right into Barf! These KISEE-DSV Sandals are uglier than my Aunt Jan's gnarled-toe, callous-covered Sasquatch feet, I should qualify them: KISEE-DSVs are a performance sandal collaboration between...

Book Bags - Famous Book Cover Bags & Purses

$85 - $240 Etsy »

Know what goes with a great book? Heels. Or flats. Even sneakers. These Book Bags from Krukru Studio are as fashionably versatile as they are unique and charming. Available in a host of classic novel and famous nonfiction...

Blockbuster Video Credit Card Skin

$6 Etsy »

"Wow! What a Difference! Blockbuster Video...Credit Card Skin. No, really. This cover for your Visa, AmEx, or debit card isn't just a bit of nostalgia and nerdery for 80s and 90s kids who refuse to let Blockbuster - or...

Bath Diamond Bioluminescent Bath Bombs & Salt Soaks

$48 - $72 Bath Diamond »

Bathe in diamonds and roses. No, not literally, but with Bath Diamond bioluminescent bath bombs and salt soaks, figuratively is even better. Figuratively means you still get to submerge yourself in a tub of hot water...

Half Frame Rhinestone Glasses

$15.99 - $17.99 Amazon »

Or should I call them Half Frame Rhinestone Non-Glasses? The "W" shape of that lady's...uh...eyewear must stand for "What the four-eyes are these things?!" They don't improve your vision, they don't help you see in the...

Dune Futuristic Rings

$72 - $122 Etsy »

There are some cooooool cats over at Substance Jewelry making these Dune Futuristic Rings - and really all the rings available in the designers' Etsy shop. Each of the Dune Ring listings kicks off with a quote from Frank...

Good After Nine Animal Rings

$54 - $163.50 Etsy »

Didn't get that hippopotamus for Christmas? How about a Happy Hippo Ring instead? Those denied cats, dogs, snakes, cockatoos, koalas, and frog princes, Good After Nine has its finger on the pulse of your disappointment...

balldo - Ball-Dildo to Double Your Penis Count (NSFW)

"Make 2021 the year of ballsex!" Well, balldo, it's not the worst idea anyone's ever had. Plus, given all the horrible things 2020 was the year of, and the lackluster way 2021 has kicked off, a brand new ball-dildo that...

Needs Head T-Shirt

$19.99 - $22.39 Etsy »

The Needs Head T-Shirt is a...gag gift! I feel like I should just stop there. What more needs to be said about this delightful piece of innuendo apparel and its endless accompanying jokes and puns? Get one as a gift for...

Byte At-Home Teeth Straightening System

$1,895 - $2,295 Byte »

Take a Byte out of your crooked bite, and high dentist's fees, and long sits in the dentist's chair*, with the Byte at-home teeth straightening system. From teeth impressions to invisible aligners to a funky vibrating...

Nike GO FlyEase Hands-Free Slip-On Shoe

Meet Nike No-Hands! Nike's GO FlyEase slip-ons reflect the company's first attempt to design shoes that keep your hands entirely out of the foot equation. Sliding the laceless kicks on - and off - is a 100% hands-free...

Flippin' Mittens

If you can't score a pair of Bernie Mittens, might I suggest Flippin' Mittens as a close second in eye-catching and meme-worthy mitten designs? Running as a limited edition from Matt Benedetto's Unnecessary Inventions...

Small Business Shoutout: TOA Waters Brawny Bubble Baths

$32.99 TOA Waters »

Do you like bubble baths? Are you a rugged individual? If you said yes, well then, have you tried TOA Waters bubble baths for the rugged individual? And if you said no, well then, have you tried TOA Waters bubble baths...

Watchy Open Source E-Paper Watch

$44.99 - $49.99 Tindie »

The argument for wearing a Watchy wristwatch is paper thin. E-Paper thin. Like its Pebble predecessors, Watchy is an ultra-slim, lightweight timepiece with a simple 200 x 200 monochrome E-Paper display that "delivers...

Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer

$49.95 - $138.06 Amazon »

Hey. Dude. Never before has there existed a more Dudeworthy shoe than the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer. Piece by piece, I am going to break down this footwear, and tell you why...

Baby Yoda Pack

$79 Kapacks »

No hover pod to transport your Baby Yoda in? Then mule up and schlep little Grogu on your back with the Baby Yoda Pack from Kapacks. The hardshell backpack's generous interior even has room for a few frogs and a shiny...

Lumen Couture LED Face Changing Mask

$90 Etsy »

Lumen Couture's LED Face Changing Mask isn't intended to be a funkified piece of pandemic PPE, though if you're ready to go all in on facial coverings, I guess it would serve you as well as your double-ply cloth options...