Shoes

5.3-Ounce Paper Shoes

$65 The UT Lab »

Shoes made out of paper?! What's next, condoms made out of lambskin?! Oh wait... Unbelievable Testing Laboratory has spent many a month devising and refining their Light Wing Tyvek shoes, a pair of sneakers that weigh...

Shark Slippers

Discontinued

Although I find amputation as hilarious as the next guy, I have to draw the line at slippers parodying a shark biting off a human's foot, i.e., a threat that is real. Know who's laughing the hardest at this joke? The...

Chainmail Shoes

$305 - $430 GoSt Barefoots »

I suppose calling these shoes PaleoBarefoots, their true name, appeals to a wider market, given the current eat-and-function-like-a-caveman craze popularized by the likes of CrossFit and Mark Sisson, but Chainmail Shoes...

Rechargeable Heated Insoles

$129.97 - $174.99 Amazon »

When I was a young lad, my parents bought battery-operated socks. For themselves, not for me. Sometimes, when forced to sit outside in frigid midwest winter wind chills for three hours' worth of my brother's junior football...

Tank Slippers

$6.99 Etsy »

Incoming! And this time, in addition to unleashing artillery, they're also unleashing the ripe, fishy odors of feet that have been sweating underneath an 8" thickness of woolen yarn! Tank Slippers, should you be up for...

Headlight Flip Flops

$65 - $65 Amazon »

Though slippers with headlights fall more into the novelty category, flip flops with headlights may actually be one of the more useful footwear innovations. Not quite up there with Marty McFly Nikes, but certainly superior...

Cult TV Show Chuck Taylors

$80 - $100 The Ave Venice »

Dexter, Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, Rick Grimes, Ron F**king Swanson, they already hold a place close to our hearts. Thanks to the design maestros at Tauntr.com, so too can they hold a place close to our corns, callouses...

Comic Book High Heels

Discontinued

One thing I would like to learn how to do is cut in a straight line. From there, maybe I can progress to the precise and exacting skills Etsy vendor Tori uses to create her custom Comic Book High Heels from the pages...

Spider-Man Vs. Venom Vans

Discontinued

I know. In his latest incarnation, the Amazing Spider-Man doesn't battle Venom, but the kids at Walking Dead Apparel haven't decked out their Vans with a hand painted Lizard yet, and really, a red-webbed Spider-Man on...

Nike HTM Flyknit Series

$160 Nike, Inc. »

Nike's ultra-light, Olympic-centric, environmentally-conscious Flyknit HTM collection was released in a limited run at 21 Mercer on February 21st (get it?) They should be available to the $160+-carrying masses over the...

Grass Flip Flops

$39.95 Kusa Shoes »

Australia's KUSA is the latest company to perpetuate the 21st century's growing abhorrence of shoes. Hippies, barefoot enthusiasts, and people nostalgic for the days when they were too poor to buy footwear are going to...

Laser Laces

Sold Out Amazon »

Behold, the last frontier fiber optics had to conquer: your Air Jordans. Laser Laces are LED lights encased in a fiber optic cable that criss-cross up your insteps and mesmerize passersby. Especially high ones, and ones...

Sand Imprint Flip Flops

$19.95 Etsy »

Leave a message in the sand for those who follow in your footsteps, poignant or not. Anything you want. These suckers are custom made to say whatever it is you like. I predict 50% of the orders are for some variant of...

Dust Mop Slippers

Sold Out Amazon »

No, gentlemen, October is not too early to start thinking about Christmas gifts for your wife. And the great thing about these slippers is that they look just like real mops, which ensures that when you wear them to collect...

Zombie Feet Sandals

$24.50 Amazon »

Looking for an improvement or cover up for your fungus encrusted toenails? These are the perfect solution. And if you don't have athlete's foot, or zombie foot yet, these just might prevent you from getting it in your...

Motherboard Sandals

Sold Out Etsy »

More form than function, these look meticulous in their construction. These were fashioned from PC mother boards, ribbon wire and a host of other electronic components. Click these heals together and you enter the matrix...

Slippers With Headlights

I have to go pee. It's 4am. After resisting the elbow nudges from my bladder for 30 minutes, I relent. I stumble toward the bathroom with hands out for blockers. Turning the lights on isn't an option. I pee on the floor...

Marty McFly Nikes

Rumors abound that Nike will be releasing the Nike Air Mag shoes Marty McFly wore in Back To The Future II. This could be the biggest sneaker news since... sneakers started making the news. I can't wait to get a pair...