Breathalyzer Watch
- BACtrack Keychain Breathalyzer - $29.99
- Dr. Katz TheraBreath Oral Rinse - $15.34
- Love, Sex and Drunk-Texts - $9.99
- I Don't Get Drunk, I Get Awesome T-shirt - $13.95
- AlcoMate Prestige - Home Alcohol Breath Analyzer - $94.50
Like playing the bagpipes and rolling your eyeballs into the back of your sockets, I would prefer that you not drink and drive, even if you're really good at it. Tokyoflash agrees, and so has proceeded with development and full production of their Design Studio Blog's conceptual breathalyzer watch, a longtime fan favorite surely soon to be seen on the wrists of many a 20-something reveler. The Kisai Intoxicated will still tell you the time, but with its built-in blood alcohol content sensor, it will also tell you when it's time to call a cab.
Still true to the company's trademark futuristic aesthetics, the Kisai Intoxicated's digital time readout is somewhat hidden in the shadows of the watch's colorful face. Look in between the pixels to gauge how far you are from last call. Once assured there are hours ahead, field test your skills with Intoxicated's sobriety game, a simple--but not easy for the inebriated--challenge of hitting a button to stop a line moving across the screen at dead center.
When it's time to head out, open the watch's side-mounted sensor cap, and press its alcohol button to begin the test. Once the sensor indicates it's ready to receive your hot, Jack-infused breath, just blow and go. Or, more likely, blow and don't go. A 5-second exhalation will report BAC at 10 different levels. A green display indicating 0.00� means you're the DD. Levels between between 0.41% and 0.60� produce a yellow display, and tell you you're buzzing. at 0.61% or above, you get a red display designating you are drunkety drunk. But hopefully still jolly and enthused, not sitting in the corner sobbing on a barstool like a girl and lamenting about how you accidentally took a sip of beer with gluten it. Either way, though, the wise old watch is telling you to call a cab on your way out, bro. Or call an Uber if you're lucky enough to live in a city that has them.
The Kisai Intoxicated is USB-chargeable and made of stainless steel.
Also of note from Tokyoflash's Kisai Intoxicated listing: "This watch is designed for entertainment only. The retailer does not warrant that the results obtained from this breathalyzer will be completely accurate or reliable and accepts no liability for consequences arising from its use." Wamp, wamp. For a BAC reader without caveats, check out this professional digital breathalyzer.
/chronodevfd-cyberpunk-18152.jpg?mode=crop "Budget Your Time: The 10 Best Men's Watches Under $100")
Budget Your Time: The 10 Best Men's Watches Under $100
Wearing a watch gives you one less reason to check your phone. Wearing a watch that costs less than $100 gives you one less reason to ask your girlfriend if she could maybe pick up dinner. For the next 6 months. Here...
/worlds-thinnest-watch-11386.jpg?mode=crop "World's Thinnest Watch")
World's Thinnest Watch
The new name in ultra-thin? It's...no, not the chick who's playing Carrie in the prequel series to Sex and the City. Hint: It's an inanimate object. It's...no, not Nicole Kidman. Mom, stop trying to guess! You're messing...
Anti-Kidnapping Watch Band
Mark Greenman has seen the TIHK and raised it a ceramic razor blade, a 4' Kevlar friction saw, and one trip to the lower hemisphere. In his own words: I designed the A-K Band because I plan on traveling to South America...
Iron Samurai Blue LED Watch
As if the opportunity to wear a segmented steel LED-lit wristband that might make people wonder if you're under house arrest isn't reason enough to complete this purchase, the fact that the Iron Samurai also possesses...
Vaportini Liquor Inhaler
Those who do not live in Washington or Colorado, I have a consolation inhalation prize for you. A glass globe-and-funnel contraption straight out of the Real Genius chem lab, the Vaportini kit gassifies alcohol into a...
Recon 6 Utility Watch
The Recon 6 may be the only useful thing ever to come out of watching reality TV. Tim Ralston created his utility watch following a conversation he had with friends about being stranded on a remote island. A conversation...
/ritot-projection-watch-13323.jpg?mode=crop "Ritot Projection Watch")
Ritot Projection Watch
August 2014 Update: Sadly, it appears that the Ritot watch is yet another crowdfunding scam. Thanks to commenter Bea Foroni for posting this article summarizing why Ritot technology isn't currently possible, and the bizarre...
iWatch 2
It's sleek, it's svelte, and it will make your wrist look a mile long. It even redefines the concept of little black box with its glide-to-reveal top lid. The iWatch 2 has all of the classic features of the iWatch: WiFi...
Tesla Watch
Induction motors, X-ray experimentation, the world's first RC boat. Nikola Tesla's contributions to the world were numerous and thrilling during his nearly 6 decades of scientific pursuit in New York. So it's strange...
Le Whaf - Inhale Your Drinks
How about a nice big glass of double, double toil and trouble? It's light, it's sippable, and it's bursting--or at least lolling lazily--with flavor. The Lab Store, molecular gastronomists with a penchant for the gaseous...
The Bradley Tactile Watch
Although I'm largely an insensitive bastard, even I was puzzled to hear that visually impaired people currently have only 2 types of watches available to them: those that talk, and those with removable covers that allow...
Grindrite Weed Watch
I thought it would do something cutesy like stay frozen on 4:20, but nay. The Grindrite keeps real time too! Though usually after a few tokes of the good stuff my friend Victor procures I'm not really able to comprehend...