Taste Bud Bogglers: Weirdly Flavored Snacks

Almost every word of that title - Tuna & Spicy Cod Roe Mayonnaise Slices - makes me gag. And this here is what I'd call a 1-2 punch of weird(and gross)ness, since we're not just talking fish-flavored mayo, but fish-flavored mayo created as condiment slices to produce an equally F'd up texture.

According to Sora News 24, these culinary delights from Japanese company Bourbon will debut in March 2020, but only - and thankfully! - in Japan.

However, North Americans jealous of Asia's solidification of a beloved condiment do have the option of getting them some ketchup slices.

Yes, the Fatafat package officially deems these Indian pellets "Ayurvedic Digestive Pills," but anecdotal evidence (i.e., some Indian people I know, this article from Atlas Obscura) indicates kiddos in India pop this Fat like candy. Or at least today's Millennials did in the 80s and 90s.

So...medicine, candy, potato, potahto. Point is, I bought some Fatafat for snacking a while back, and let me tell you about their taste. It was like...a sugary jelly bean mixed with a little bit of salt, a little bit of curry powder, and a little bit of, um, stagnant water. Fatafat wasn't for me.

And if you try some and decide the black candy-pills are for you, go easy at first. Your bowels might not agree.

Internet Cookies bake at the hand of Gaia M. Valdemarsdottir Acree and, yes, her flavors are as unique of a mouthful as her name. February's offering (pictured above left): Tamarind & Sesame Cookies with Candied Coriander Seeds, Coffee & Chocolate. In January 2020, subscribers received E3 Live Blue Green Algae & Pickled Heirloom Blueberry Biscotti. December 2019 saw a Farro, Maple, Honey & Warm Spices Cookie with Sea Salt.

I mean, I can't say live blue green algae and coriander seeds would be my first choice of cookie flavorings, but the Internet Cookies all look so purdy, I'd try them all. Huh. Dangling shiny treats in front of my eyes. Guess that's how all Internet Cookies get me every time.

I do love me some ice cream. And I've been known to add condiments to my burgers and dogs at a 1:1 ratio. So why not throw these two crazy kids together and see what kind of culinary delight / disaster comes of it?

Maybe you think I should add French's Mustard Ice Cream to my collection of things that make you go ewww, but until both of us take a few licks of it, I think I'll start out the frozen balls of yellow moo juice on my list of strange and unique products made in gold. And, indeed, French's Mustard Ice Cream (#MustCream for branding?) is a beaut in gold. Gold like the star whomever came up with it should get for the idea. Gold like the greatest of showers.

Vodquila and Rumquila A mix of vodka or rum, tequila, and a first class ticket to a hangover-free Sunday morning. I know they say two wrongs don't make a right and all that malarkey, but I don't think that's true for alcohol. Like, I'm pretty sure mixing two liquors individually notorious for being very strong, very shootable, and very likely to make you wake up the next morning wearing a duct tape turban and boots filled with 3 inches of glitter will actually create a Super Liquor that transcends the tendency to make poor decisions, black out, and vomit up one's own stomach lining after a night of heavy drinking.

Well, either that or it will cause your world to come crashing down exponentially faster and exponentially worse.

So who wants some Vodquila? ... Rumquila, then?