Cards Against Humanity Fortune Cookies
/cards-against-humanity-fortune-23737.jpg "Cards Against Humanity Fortune Cookies")
- Tough Luck Fortune Cookies - $9.99
- NSFW Fortune Cookies - $30.00
- Pechkeks Misfortune Cookies - $12.99
- The Big Black Metal Box for Cards Against Humanity - $42.97
- Cards Against Humanity: Sixth Expansion - $10.00
I like the fortunes that say things like, "Soon you will be sitting on top of the world," and "May you grow rich," followed by a series of lucky numbers that happen to coincide with those drawn during this week's Power Ball. I'll take an X-rated Fortune Cookie now and then too. As long as my girlfriend doesn't have a headache that night.
But OK Cookie Co.'s new boxes of fortune cookies might be the best ones yet...
...to leave anonymously on the desks and sneak into the Chinese carry-out bags of other people.
The self-proclaimed "horrible" fortune cookies are the latest mindgasm from the creators of Cards Against Humanity. So you know they're at least Level 6 to 8 Obnoxious. And funny. And perfect for the chick from HR who keeps asking me to try to be less defensive when I receive feedback. Oh, you think I'm defensive? Well I think you deserve a cookie:
"You are perfect just the way you are. Maybe a nose job."
Horrible fortune cookies come in boxes of 15, each stuffed with random predictions, advice, and words of wisdom from an a-hole.
/f-cup-cookies-12253.jpg "F-Cup Cookies")
F-Cup Cookies
F-Cup Cookies sound like they would be a joke, and they probably are, but for all women with concave chesticular regions and, more importantly, for all the men who have to fondle them, I sure as 2 seconds of motorboating...
/collapsible-middle-finger-62196.jpg?mode=crop "Collapsible Middle Finger")
Collapsible Middle Finger
The wind up F you is one you'll always have, er, on hand and all, but this Collapsible Middle Finger accessory will make an even bolder statement when used to pepper your gestures and enhance your communication skills...
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Abducktion: A Weirdly Strategic Duck Kidnapping Game
I feel like the name "Abducktion" definitely preceded the concept and rules of play for this Weirdly Strategic Duck Kidnapping Game. Some dude was under the influence of THC, or psilocybin, or Coors Light, and some other...
X-Rated Fortune Cookies
Every time you masturbate, God chokes a kitten. I don't know if that bit of wisdom can be found in this Chinese to-go container of of X-Rated Fortune Cookies, but it should be a staple. Get your hands out of your pants...
Naughty Cookie Cutters
These are disgusting. A perversion of gingerbread men, and a perversion of the spirit of Christmas!...
What Do You Meme? Game
Elliot Tebele, overlord of the famed Instagram account Fuckjerry, has made a pretty natural transition with What Do You Meme? His images and commentary translate seamlessly from work day slacking reading material on the...
/tell-me-without-telling-me-57314.jpg?mode=crop "Tell Me Without Telling Me Game")
Tell Me Without Telling Me Game
"Tell me without telling me..." You've seen the prompt - the "game," I suppose - on Reddit, TikTok, Twitter, whatever other social media platforms the cool cats are using and this dude is trying to get rid of these days...
/thats-what-she-said-game-23596.jpg "That's What She Said Game")
That's What She Said Game
Oh boy, it's everyone's favorite punchline. Turned into a game that makes you want to say it--scream it!--over and over and over again. All. Night. Long...
/disturbed-friends-the-worst-21736.jpg "Disturbed Friends - The Worst Game Ever Made")
Disturbed Friends - The Worst Game Ever Made
Consumer drones? Wearables? Self-driving cars (and -walking shoes)? Nah. I think politically incorrect card-based games that at some point make every person playing them feel extremely uncomfortable or self-conscious...
/sexy-tarot-cards-nsfw-45067.jpg?mode=crop "Sexy Tarot Cards (NSFW)")
Sexy Tarot Cards (NSFW)
One look at this deck of Sexy Tarot Cards, and I definitely see one thing in my future: some alone time in the bedroom with my wife...
Unfortunate Cookies
A sarcastic spin on the traditional fortune cookie, unfortunate cookies tell it like it is. Each pack includes 10 witty, fun and sometimes scathing or disgusting fortunes that are sure to surprise whoever cracks them...
Milk & Cookies Shots
Now that the Cookie Monster has had his fling with Siri, maybe he can engage the services of Alexa to order him a dozen...or 8 dozen...of Dirty Cookie's Milk & Cookie Shots. I can't wait to see what he gets up to while...