Food

Japanese Kit Kat Bars

$0.92 - $29.99 Amazon »

Why are green Kit Kats so mesmerizing? Because they look like Zombie Kit Kats? Their flavor is Maccha Green Tea, so they can't possibly taste like anything resembling good, yet they have been flying off the virtual shelves...

NutShot Peanut Butter

$29.50 Nutshot »

Like SEXCEREAL, NutShot Peanut Butter capitalizes on branding, as it is nothing more than a jar full of pulverized peanuts manufactured in both chunk and chunk-free form. And while that itself is one of NutShot creator...

Cow Wow Cereal Milk

Sold Out Amazon »

I never cared much for the milk left at the bottom of the cereal bowl. But I spooned it up anyway because my grandma told me that if I didn't I would get osteoporosis. (I am very happy to report that after years of taking...

Lip Chaser Liquor Buddy

Discontinued

Don't be too disappointed that Lip Chaser shot follow-ups contain no alcohol. Your shot will still have plenty of it, and Lip Chasers replace the booze with something much, much better: making out. An edible coating applied...

Dark Chocolate Sriracha Bunny

Discontinued

At first I thought the Dark Chocolate Sriracha Easter Bunny was just the latest addition to our rooster sauce pop culture craze, but further rumination made me realize its true application is as a training tool for children...

SEXCEREAL

Discontinued

SEXCEREAL is the most ingenious display of product spinning and effective branding I've seen since I was 18 months old and my mama transformed spoonfuls of pureed peas into airplanes. Actually, it's even better because...

Ruckus Hoptimus Prime Beer

$6.49 - $87.99 Half Time »

Ruckus Brewing's Hoptimus Prime enjoys a wicked twist of irony: instead of transforming those who drink it into sage and powerful leaders of an elite race of impenetrable robots, at 9.0% ABV the double IPA reduces them...

Sober Up Detoxification Enhancer

$21 Sober Up »

I sure hope my balance, mental clarity, and liver are enjoying themselves right now because my rippin' headache has yet to feel the benefits of Sober Up, the detoxification enhancer I just chugged like Kool-Aid. I know...

Minecraft Marshmallow Creeps

Discontinued

The little bit of good news I have for you today is that we are only 16 days away from spring and 27 days away from Easter*, which means Peep eating season is upon us! Even better tidings for Minecraft die-hards: Marshmallow...

Tactical Bacon

Sold Out Amazon »

I don't really like to shoot to kill--less due to the ethics of felling a majestic beast than the fact that blood and rigor mortis make me squeamish--but I think if given the choice between taking down a deer or taking...

Death Star Lollipops

Sold Out Etsy »

Death Star Lollipops. An excellent concept. And might I suggest throwing some Pop Rocks in there too during a suck session so they actually explode in your mouth...

Nutella & Go! Snack Packs

Discontinued

You know what contentious pop culture debate on which I have no opinion? Nutella vs. Peanut Butter. Seriously Internet forums? You're warring over this? Each is a transcendentally delicious standout in the world of spreads...

Velopresso - Espresso Cart Trike

Put the pedal to the...grinder. The Velopresso, an espresso cart-bicycle (well, tricycle, really) hybrid, takes the concept of generating power through manual labor and removes the practical joke punchline typically associated...

Vaportini Liquor Inhaler

$39.99 - $149.99 Vaportini »

Those who do not live in Washington or Colorado, I have a consolation inhalation prize for you. A glass globe-and-funnel contraption straight out of the Real Genius chem lab, the Vaportini kit gassifies alcohol into a...

Sh*t Gold Pills

$399 GNR 8 »

It may still stink, but ingest a couple of these 24K capsules, and your shit will look as handsome as a pile of gold. Tobias Wong and J.A.R.K. (Ju$t Another Rich Kid) created the Gold Pills as part of their INDULGENCE...

Mad Scientist Absinthe Kits

$31.50 - $79.50 Absinthes.com »

Sometimes it's fun to play mad scientist. Particularly when doing so involves hallucinogens. OK, so they removed the thujone component from absinthe, but still, 80% of any experience is perception, right? So if I think...

Magician's Rabbit Popsicles

$15.99 Animi Causa »

Pulling one of these popsicle rabbits out of the hat is way more fun than producing a real one because 1) Flavored ice is 100% less likely to bite you and 2) It is immediately edible--no carrots, onions, red wine, or...

Retro Candy Gift Boxes

$17.65 - $26.77 Amazon »

Almost as interesting as it will be to watch the effects of my grandpa ingesting 4 pounds of processed sugar a la Slo Pokes, Red Hots, and Chuckles on Christmas morning is noting that, of the wax-wrapped candy treats...

Instant Regret Hot Chili Peanut Butter

$11.29 Firebox.com »

Hot to the power of hot meets one of the most devastating allergens on the planet. If Instant Regret Peanut Butter doesn't drive you into an immediate convulsive fit, followed by a semi-conscious state of catatonia, Firebox...

Pop Rocks Cotton Candy

$3.50 Vat 19 »

Pop Rocks Cotton Candy? Talk about blowing my mind. Blowing my taste buds. Blowing my oral tactile receptors. Blowing my insulin levels! It's light, fluffy pure sugar meets hard, explosive-upon-impact pure sugar. Sold...

Homemade Gin Kit

$39.95 Homemade Gin »

Mommy, where does gin come from? Vodka, Bobby. Gin comes from vodka. At least if it's homemade. Shunning expensive, and possibly illegal, distilling equipment, the Homemade Gin Kit allows those who possess it to create...

Pickle & Bacon Candy Canes

$6.95 - $11.94 Amazon »

Pickle and bacon candy canes. A good start, indeed, but now we need flavors hamburger, ketchup, and cheddar. And maybe bun, though if the former requests were met, I would be willing to break my Christmas sticks into...

Fifty Shades of Bacon Cookbook

$12.58 Amazon »

The definitive building block of food porn now has its own erotic cookbook. Fifty Shades of Bacon, about damn time. Right, ladies? 'Cause I know once you satiate your carnally voyeuristic instincts reading Fifty Shades...

Star Wars Chocolates

$15 Etsy »

Mmm, handmade Star Wars chocolates. The best thing to come out of the Galactic Republic since the Intergalactic Identity Management Agency cleared Planet Earth for passports. Nikki Belleperche's Force-injecting variety...