Food

Easter is only two weeks away. Do you have your cutesy, themed, pastel dessert for the impending gorge of post-egg-hunt ham and sweets? Let the kids eat the jelly beans and Peeps. And especially the real Easter eggs...

We wondered too, but the answer is no. blk. black bottled water is not part of an SNL skit � la black caulk or Colon Blow. It's a real artesian spring water from aquifers in Canada's Sandiland Forest Reserve. And it takes...

Odafree is an over-the-counter supplement ingested to combat odors associated with the excretion of feces and flatulence. Without the euphemisms? It's a daily pill that claims to remove the stench of hot death from shit...

Chocolate Covered Jalapenos: for that delectable combination of sweet, and hotter than balls. Fresh, straight-up jalapenos, or a rainbow assortment of sweet peppers, are dipped in taste buds' choice of dark chocolate...

Suck it, chocolate bunnies! This Easter all the cool kiddies want chocolate craniums cast from real human skulls! OK, so how many comments of outrage am I going to get when I point out that partaking in a piece of dark...

Uh oh, the Cookie Monster and the Po Po are about to have a conniption. Doughnuts and cookies gettin' it on? Producing offspring? And just in time for your co-worker's retirement party, your "Sorry I'm an asshole" peace...

A gargantuan mail-order Peanut Butter Cup Cake, stacked with double layers of rich chocolate devil's food hugging real peanut butter filling, and then drowned in a dark chocolate shell, is the reason acronyms like OMFG...

Now when, at the height of an intense Scrabble match, you get stuck with both of the GD Zs, instead of driving yourself insane trying to remember if "ze" and "oz" are approved words, you can simply eat the offending letters...

Get ready for the uncontrollable "O" mouth, exhalations of fire, and streaming tears of blissful discomfort only a few Victoria's Secret models, and Bhut Jolokia, the world's hottest pepper, can extract from your otherwise...

Behold The Biggest Loser's latest ploy to equate sugar with poison. Big fat fatties of the world, you must face your saccharine skeletons in the closet, your demonic empty calories, and defy them in favor of healthier...

Red Solo cup, I fill you up. And am way less likely to drop you in someone's lap now that you are made of foam instead of cheap plastic that accrues grip-compromising condensation like Lindsay Lohan accrues pardons for...

Zombies of the earth unleash a collective wail as they witness humans' discovery of why they eat brains: brains taste like chocolate covered cherries. Now the competition for cranial acquisition and consumption is going...

It's been two weeks since we last spotlighted a historically unlikely, but--given the current state of global madness--now entirely predictable food staple flavored with bacon. Bust out the red velvet sponge and cream...

Every groom-to-be gets cold feet at some point, and this zombie wedding cake topper brilliantly summarizes both the worst and best case scenarios that could play out when that happens. Worst Case Scenario: Your feet are...

At this point, the bacon craze has reached a state of lunacy that renders bacon soda somewhat expected. Pedestrian, even. Still, there are smoky, greasy meat flavors, and then there are CARBONATED smoky, greasy meat flavors...

Nom, nom, nom. It's Hasenpfeffer meets the next-generation three wolf moon shirt. Your days of gnawing on leathery old rabbit parts that taste like a combination of barnyard and the positive ends of AA batteries are over...

A sarcastic spin on the traditional fortune cookie, unfortunate cookies tell it like it is. Each pack includes 10 witty, fun and sometimes scathing or disgusting fortunes that are sure to surprise whoever cracks them...

Twenty four cans of Homer's favorite pastime will have you snoring in your La-Z-Boy before midnight. These aren't just cans that say Duff Beer on them with soda inside either. They have actual alcohol in them. German...

Not since Grow Toys and Sea Monkeys has the simple addition of water created a miracle of Powdered Peanut Butter caliber. Obviously, the 85% reduction in fat and calories renders it more a loose approximation of peanut...

Drawing a profound visual parallel between alcohol and weaponry, this ammo case of wine of is slick, sexy, and loaded with 3 liters of artisanal heat, but is likely to cause death and destruction if it falls into the...

In the true spirit of the holiday season, here comes a little gift that will make you even more fat and drunk. Whipped Lightning turbocharges ordinary canned whipped cream with 36.5 proof grain alcohol and 12 mostly-tasty-sounding...

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

Edible spray paint. The answer to the prayers of all those hoodlums and gang members with dreams of pastry chef stardom. And check out the demo photos. This year, Martha Stewart, your mother-in-law, and their brined...

If there's one thing that Jews know, it's not barbecue sauce. Nonetheless, we've been given their best effort. Hey, at least it's kosher right? No word on whether or not the sauce bottle "tips" well for easy pouring...