Food & Drink

Eggs. They're almost as fragile as cats and guinea pigs. Better suit them up for the battle then. The battle they're still going to lose with my stomach. Sorry little hard-boiled ovo-knights. You're just no match for...

With one of the group's largest ratios of brain-to-body size, they say the cuttlefish is among the smartest of all invertebrates. So I guess it is well-suited to the task of cracking open my microbrews and bottles of...

They call them the Booger Buddies. I call them the newest additions to my Super Bowl XLVIII meat buffet. Nothing like a squirt of mustard from the nostrils of an ooga-booga-looking monster (with impeccable oral hygiene)...

From amidst the screams and chaos, the tension and the trash talk, the chili cheese dip and the chicken wings, a lone zombie hand breaks the surface. Rises up from the pooled blood of Mary. And what's this? Is it parading...

Under normal circumstances I wouldn't eat a zucchini under any circumstances. But a zucchini that's been shaved? Hmmm, I don't know. See, when it comes to girls I...well, anyway, I guess it's safe to say that if an ugly...

I mean, I'm fine getting my own glass of SunnyD, but I guess if you really want to give me some of yours, alright. Go ahead and Wave it over...

Just when you thought you could enjoy a glass of beer without having your face bitten off by a shark. First the aggressive sea dwellers infiltrated our coffee mugs, and now it's our cold beverage containers. I hear they're...

I have a hard time believing that fried food tastes like fried food if it's not fried fully submerged in the succulent greasiness of oils corn, palm, peanut, or pig. But, since I'd prefer not to have my first dance with...

Roasting marshmallows and making s'mores over an open flame is such grand fun. At least until someone falls into the burning ring of fire and doesn't live to sing about it like Johnny Cash. Then it's kind of a downer...

Now when you say "ToastyMUG," Sabrina Fossi, do you really mean toasty? Like, warm and soul-soothing? Or do you actually mean scorching and my choice of second degree finger burns or dropping the mug and spilling its...

These Pelican coolers have 7- 10-day ice retention properties. That's pretty good. Nowhere near those of my ex, who has retained the ice in her heart for, like, 2 years now, but for a cooler, pretty good. Coined Elite...

Sure a ninja mug is cool, but if you get one you're never going to be able to find it. Even if it's just sitting there, in the middle of your desk, right in front of your face. Ninja mugs are seen only when they want...

What's better than filling a water bottle with water? Filling a water bottle with beer! And what's better than filling a water bottle with beer? Inserting an entire bottle of beer into the water bottle! Wait...do what?...

Yo quiero three large divots carved out of my back so I can hold tacos for gringos. Meet Tito...and his twin brother Tito...a duo of chihuahuas eager to liven up your Taco Tuesday with their droll method of tortilla shell...

Aw, little hummingbird charms to perch atop my wine glass and demarcate which syrah has my backwash in it. How precious and handy. A service to all. And unlike ringed glass ID tags, the hummingbirds can act as markers...

Necessity, she is the mother of invention. Even if it takes decades--no, centuries!--of jagged edges and misshapen triangles. Of someone popularizing the word "rustic" to justify the serving of sloppy, ugly food. Necessity...

The Swissmar girouette says it was devised to shave and curl Tete de Moine, a fancy cheese from Switzerland that probably costs $100 pound, but you can also use it to make byooteeful ribbons of chocolate, or on any old...

Jacob Bromwell's set of Old West shot glasses are pure copper, handmade by up to 5 American workers, and in very limited supply. So get 'em while they're smokin' hot, and you just might have the perfect beginnings for...

I call shotgun! Wha--what the F Scott Fitzgerald, Cornelius?! You just sprayed me in the eye with...what is that, a...juicy fr--...no, a buttery nipple? You just squirted a buttery nipple at my face?! That's...that's...well...

Talk about the gift that keeps on giving. From stocking to cookie, and from cookie to belly, my friend. The Dipr solves the age-old calamity of sandwich cookies lost to murky emulsions of fat and protein. Oreos doing...

Ever since the days of colonialism and the American Frontier...no...way before that. Ever since the days animals began eking out a drop more urine even when they didn't have to pee just so that they could piss on things...

I hope the electromagnetic fields projected by these Iron Man 3 glowing Arc Reactor coasters will keep my drinks safe this holiday season from particulates of snot and saliva ejected by fellow partygoers whose mothers...

Now that Twinkies have returned to market, a homemade Twinkie maker might not classify as the same magnitude of necessity that it did for about 8 months there. But, still, it's kind of a necessity. You never know when...

In lieu of spending $80 grand on the Talking Periodic Table of Swearing coffee table I think I might part with my Andrew Lincoln and go for the Periodic Table of Swearing mug instead. Granted, it doesn't blurt heinous...