Novelty

Luke, I am your father. And as such, there are a few things you should know about me. For example, in my free time, I enjoy attending raves. Dancing one's ass off to Kaskade is an exceptional way to clear the mind and...

Now my favorite birthday gifts come in the form of a Peeping Creeper at the bedroom window or talking an amateur heavyweight UFC fighter into accusing my friend Cornelius of sleeping with his girlfriend, but if you're...

Nothing like a hot day in the south or the Ark of the Covenant to make you feel like your face is gonna melt off. Though after my wee and innocent 6-year-old eyes were scarred for life watching Major Arnold Ernst Toht...

It's that mad, mad, mad, mad time of year. With March comes Selection Sunday. With Selection Sunday comes the NCAA Tournament. And with the NCAA Tournament comes...vasectomies. Lots and lots of vasectomies. More vasectomies...

Now that you know about the weird science of gallium, you're probably wondering what the WTF you can do with it once you've scored a nugget. My suggestion: spoon prank...

I just read the best analogy of anything ever on ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com: "Glitter is the herpes of the craft world." Oh hell yeah it is. Glitter is hideous. Glitter spreads like wildfire. Glitter gets into crevices...

You want tidings of comfort and joy? Well here you go: Merry Christmas, you old Golden Douchebag, you...

This jar of Uranium Ore--or, as I like to call it, Instant Mutant Candy--contains real samples of NORM, Naturally Occurring Radioactive Materials. Each container's label lists its contents' Counts Per Minute activity...

If you're going to spend a fine Wednesday evening listening to people F softly, screw gently, hump sweetly, ball discreetly, and then F'ing bone completely, wouldn't you prefer that they not sound like Jack Black scraping...

Uh, this one's for the ladies, I presume? Squishy mushrooms for smashing and stretching and gouging and batting against the wall. Combat stress by inflicting pain upon the Enokis. By making the Shitake feel as Shitake...

In case of a zombie, vampire, werewolf, or demon emergency take this tiny sledgehammer, break the glass, and prepare to fight for your life. Or run like a girl while tossing Holy Water over your shoulder. In Case Of cabinets...

The Batman branding iron "is not a toy! You can do some serious damage to people and property with this hot item if you aren't careful! By purchasing this item you are agreeing to not hold us accountable for anything...

Given that I've only ever been called handy that one time when my mama walked in on me while I was...when she should have knocked, my personal possession of the Spy Bolt would probably raise more suspicions than if I...

The NHL Goal Light with horn is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. (Thank you, thank you very much.) Except it has the additional perk of arriving pre-programmed with all 30 NHL teams' authentic goal noises, selectable...

The best part about this self-destructing spy paper isn't that it exists or can fill some kitschy novelty gift order. The best part about the writing medium designed to dissolve in seconds when introduced to liquid is...

It's hydrophobic sand. Water-abhorring sand. H2-Ohhh-Nooo! sand. That's not to say it never learned to swim because its mama spent its swim lessons money on black market Ritalin, just that it physically repels water...

This black box is nearly impossible to put together. Ninety-nine percent of those who try will fail. But for the always-elite 1%, once your corners are aligned and screws affixed, the world will be your oyster. Flip the...

I don't really like smug car decals like this because I think anyone who needs to be sorry for driving sooo close in front of me should be plucked from the road and tossed into a tar pit by the hand of God. However, I...

Usually the best part about any Japanese product is the video they make to go with it. This Hanaga Tap, or nose outlet's, may not be as bizarre and exaggerated as some, but given that they make the development of a human...

Did you know that National High Five Day is just 2 weeks away? Wait, let me back up. Did you know there exists such a thing as National High Five Day? It's the third Thursday of every April, or for our purposes, April...

What's not included in the MacGyver Toolkit? According to iFixit, nothing but the mullet. For those of you too young to remember Angus MacGyver, here is what this pocket-sized secret agent's Altoids tin will get you one...

Ten cents from every one of these Support the Troops car decals sold will go toward building the next Death Star. Good news for members of the Dark Side. A terrible blow, though, to Jedis and Rebel supporters. Who's going...

Sold as a blank, Schlage Lock Company's 45 caliber pistol key cuts to fully loaded and ready to fire up the car, blast open the front door, or shoot up the lid to the porn stash and secret cell phone your wife believes...

Would it be too much of a conflict of interest to get a Star Wars sunshade featuring the Millennium Falcon crew for my windshield if I already have Darth Vader floor mats installed? I mean, on the one hand they're going...