Washmate Portable Bidet in a Bottle

Posted: June 12, 2013

In: Household ➠ Bathroom

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I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things like your butt and hoo-ha. Ba da bum, ching!

For years, the "gentle and pleasant form of personal cleaning other cultures have practiced for centuries" has struggled to make a name for itself that doesn't stir up chortles and wisecracks in the US. I see bidet-toilet combos occasionally in sushi restaurants, but I've avoided using the private-parts-cleansing feature ever since that one time when I hit the spray button and it didn't work so I looked down to see what was going on and then it did work. But perhaps this portability, this take-it-anywhere angle will improve the Washmate bidet's appeal. I for one am looking forward to toting it along on hikes with my friend Victor and watching him mistake it for a water bottle with a spout he should suck on with his mouth.

Washmate touts its bidet as the ideal complement to kiddie cleanups, outdoor festivals, disgusting public restrooms in places such as airports and Wal-Mart, plus feminine freshness during certain times of the month and gestation periods, the latter of which I was this close to not even writing down and which I just don't even want to think about ever again.

If you're anxious to Like Washmate's portable bidet on Facebook, thereby announcing to your 1,223 friends how much you enjoy a moist, hands-free cleanup subsequent to doing your business, you may do so here.

And if you're not ready to make the leap to a down-there shower every time you hit the john, take baby steps with a box of Dude Wipes.

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