Crying Unicorn Candle
/crying-unicorn-candle-26547.jpg "Crying Unicorn Candle")
- Bleeding Taper Candles - $5.35
- Unicorn Puke Soy Candle - $19.50
- Kisa Cat Candle - $33.99
- PyroPet Hoppa Bunny Candle - $28.00
- Ornerx Cactus Candles - $13.99
Is a crying unicorn a sign of impending doom or a hint that I should go get my coffee cup and drink up that rainbow magic for good luck?
I'm not sure who exactly a Crying Unicorn Candle is meant for. Check out the GIF. Seems a little dark for the kiddies' Easter baskets. Unless you think of it like, "And the unicorn cried rainbow tears of joy when it found out Jesus was risen, and the Easter Bunny had brought mad piles of Cadbury Creme Eggs and Peeps this year!
The candle might also be good for my girlfriend when she's in one of her brooding Lilith Fair moods.
The bawling creature of myth is able to do so thanks to its Roy G Biv horn / candle. The ceramic figure includes 2 tear sticks for twice the crying fun.
The Baby Muzzle
First we saw the Japanese Shouting Vase, an ABS resin stress-reliever that mutes the wails of angry or frustrated souls who need to unleash their fury without disturbing the peace. Now the brilliant minds of Japan--perhaps...
Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick
While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep... Working from home today... Anyway, I applaud...
/wtf-prank-candles-55498.jpg?mode=crop "WTF Prank Candles")
WTF Prank Candles
WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the...gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...
Self-Regenerative Wax Lamp
Everyone wants to be a hard ass. The Terminator. The Regulator. The Undertaker. Chuck Norris. Where's The Do-Gooder? The Helper? The Revitalizer? Relegated to the arenas of kindergarten classrooms and home decor, that's...
Kinetic Sand
It's 2.2 pounds--or what the rest of the world calls 1 kilogram--of tactile stimulation and scientific wonderment. While all sand can technically enjoy kinetic activities, Kinetic Sand claims the additional bragging rights...
/build-your-own-conspiracy-62193.jpg?mode=crop "Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory Kit")
Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory Kit
Aha! A Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory Kit. I was wondering where Reddit, TikTok, Fox News, and people addicted to goop and yoga got all their ideas, and this 451-strong set of magnetic tiles anyone can string together...
Diamond Ring Candles
Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...
/the-baby-shusher-27529.jpg?mode=crop "The Baby Shusher")
The Baby Shusher
Either the Baby Shusher shhhhhhh-ing machine is a Nobel Prize-caliber invention, or the baby in that video learned in the womb how to be an Oscar-caliber actor. Arrrgh, that sound, that wailing. I can't think of a noise...
Nessie Ladle
She waits. She lurks. She stalks. And then suddenly, out of the depths of my 8-quart stock pot, Nessie emerges. Oh the terror! The foreboding doom! The...hey, what's the Loch Ness Monster got in tow there? Is that a ladle...
Man Can - Gun Powder Scented Candle
Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift...
/skull-candle-holder-with-61498.jpg?mode=crop "Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle")
Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle
Bleeding candles are nothing new...huh. What a weird truth. I can think of at least 2 types of bleeding candle I have already shown you - The Melting Hand Bloody Candle and Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding
/my-last-fck-candle-44928.jpg?mode=crop "My Last F*ck Candle")
My Last F*ck Candle
My Last F*ck Candle. Presumably this is the one you'll burn when all of the disasters, the shockers, and the newest pieces of trash to hit social media become too much to process, too much to reconcile. When the only...