Tools

Gerber Downrange Tomahawk

$239.98 Amazon »

"Ancient instrument of war." It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? So does "tomahawk" and "smashes through walls like Thor on a coke binge." Gerber's Downrange Tomahawk modernizes the traditional chopping and whacking...

Gonex 18000 Lumen Flashlight

Discontinued

Know what 15 CREE XM-L T6 LEDs look like? When turned off: surprisingly, cells dividing in a petri dish. When turned on: less surprisingly, retinal damage. The Gonex 18000 lumen flashlight isn't abusing superlatives when...

R-PAL 300-Lumen Compact LED Lantern

Sold Out Amazon »

The R-PAL palm-sized lantern comes with 3 CREE XLamp XBD LEDs that provide a minimum of 300 lumens of brightness, and a piece of paper taped over them warning you not to look directly into their light. Like your teachers...

GasPods Fuel Savers

$39.95 - $134.95 Amazon »

GasPods promise an average savings of $120 per car per year. So, no, applying the aerodynamic champions of fuel efficiency won't result in a bank account boon of exotic Asian vacation proportions...or even really Japanese...

VSSL Outdoor Utility Tubes

$49 - $105 Amazon »

VSSLs (say "vessel") are cylinders stashed with smaller cylinders stashed with everything you might need to survive and present yourself as functional in the outdoors. The outer tubes are made of waterproof mil spec aluminum...

Krazy Beaver Super Shovel

I want to know what crazy beaver Krazy Beaver Tools encountered that would make them think up a shovel that looks like this. My entire crotchal region recoils into my bladder at the mere sight of its teeth. Those aren't...

Striker II Utility Knife

$150 Civilware »

Civilware makes the Striker II utility knife from a file, which they say is a prime source of high carbon tool steel. Since I have no knowledge to the contrary, I guess I'll buy that. I'll also buy that the annealing...

Zubin Axe Survival Staff

$320 Zubin Axe »

The Zubin is a walking stick. That can also chop firewood. Or spear a fish. Or pop my friend Cornelius in the back of the head with a slingshotted acorn. Ping! That'll teach him to walk faster than 2.7 mph. Equally appealing:...

Covert Non-Dulling Razor Blade

$9.75 Amazon »

The Covert Razor Blade. It's non-metallic. Wear-resistant. And razor sharp. Indefinitely, they say. The non-dulling blade is made from zirconia ceramic, a compound significantly harder and tougher than metal. In addition...

WORX 8-in-1 Aerocart

$165 Amazon »

Let me say first of all that putting an "X" on it does not make work more fun. But the WORX Aerocart should make your opposite-of-fun jobs around the house easier and more efficiently handled. The 8-in-1 chore buddy is...

Easy Wedge Car Lock-Out Kit

Discontinued

The Big Easy Glo is an Easy Wedge kit from Steck that assists motorists in retrieving the keys that lay mocking them from inside their locked cars as they stand outside on the pavement swearing and kicking pigeons. No...

Tiny Monster 3500 Lumen Flashlight

Sold Out Amazon »

They call it a flashlight, but turn on the handheld Tiny Monster, or TM26, from NiteCore and you might find the 3500 lumens it emits look more like a punch in the face from the sun. They say it's the world's smallest...

Speedy Seal Tire Repair Kit

$55.54 Amazon »

Fast flat fixing for off-roading in a Toyota Tundra? How about a Speedy Seal Tire Repair Kit for the pothole I hit going 70 on the highway in my Camry at least twice a week? And how about some sort of Speedy Seal Repair...

Friendly Swede Eye Knife Grenade

Sold Out Amazon »

It's the Friendly Swede! With sharp eye knife! The Friendly Swede has added a 2" stainless steel eye knife to its survival grenades. The small, yet practical kits each consist of a carabiner clipped to a knife's jutting...

Maelstrom XM18 18,000 Lumen Spotlight

$2,199 Going Gear »

The Foursevens Maelstrom XM18 uses 18 Cree XM-L2 LEDs to blast out a blinding 18,000 lumens of light. Not an exaggeration. Think you'll shoot your eye out with a BB gun? Look into, or even sideways, at the XM18 and both...

Solar-Powered Anywhere Fridge

$199 - $499 Anywhere Fridge »

A fridge, a freezer, a solar-powered wonder child called the Anywhere Fridge. Portable for camping and sturdy and weather-resistant for transport or permanent outdoor installation, this wheeled powerhouse of food preservation...

RoofScope Gear Mirror

$28.25 RoofScope »

I don't really need a RoofScope gear mirror since I don't do outdoor activities, but here's why I strongly recommend one for those who do. My dentist's office is in this ghetto, horseshoe-shaped building whose back end...

Driveway Medic Asphalt Repair Fabric

$19.94 Amazon »

Need to cover your crack? Driveway Medic says it will prevail where liquid crack filler falters. A roll of self-adhesive asphalt repair fabric, the patcher applies in seconds via a simple peel-and-stick method, covering...

Silky Katanaboy Folding Saw

$244.37 Amazon »

Silky says its man-powered chainsaw, the Katanaboy, can easily compete with mechanized versions, but I wonder if that's only provided that a Sumurai is sawing with it. Like in the featured video. I mean, yeah, the dude...

Bison Airlighter

$99.95 Bison »

The Bison Airlighter ejects a 4" flame to ignite charcoal and wood, and then blows a shot of air into its ear to spread the fire and get it really hot. As an air-driven lighter it claims to be faster, cleaner, and safer...

LadderLimb

Sold Out Amazon »

You're still on your own for keeping yourself from falling off the ladder, but at least with LadderLimb your buckets, bags, and drills will be safe from gravity's pull. A tool for every handyman and Daddy-O, the LadderLimb...

Solar Roadways

$5 - $10k Solar Roadways »

Scott and Julie Brusaw, an electrical engineer and a counselor in private practice, have created a modular paving system of solar panels they envision using to replace entire cities' paved streets. Despite having glass...

The Bad Day Bat

Well I know when I'm having a bad day all I want to do is smash shit up. Not surprisingly, there's a bat for that. But the Bad Day Bat serves as even more than a conduit for rage. With this bat in tow, after I smash shit...

Buck Travel Mate Food Prep Tool

Sold Out Amazon »

I like how even though it's mostly just silverware, Buck's Travel Mate looks like the deciding factor between a spy's successful completion of his mission and colossal failure resulting in death. Or maybe, like, what...