Critical Thinking Cards Deck

Ah, critical thinking. Not an activity many of us are keen to partake in these days. Or at least, that's what the media, politicians, and advertisers hope. The Critical Thinking Cards Deck is a more compact and party...

PPPPPPresenting the Alphabet! We've hit the Ps, my dudes...no, my peeps. From Popdarts to Power Reels, Power Idolz to Pep Talks, and Porsches to Pyros, I've got all the best P has to offer right here. Even the 2 poop gifts in my collection of 22 aren't shitty at all...

Heatbit - Bitcoin-Mining Space Heater

$1,199 Heatbit »

Heatbit says it's a space heater that also...mines Bitcoin. That is, it warms up to 500 square feet of interior space, while it...generates cryptocurrency. For you to spend. Presumably on the electric bill you'll get...

100 Games to Play with a Stick

$12.60 Amazon »

No, 100 Games to Play with a Stick is not about your penis. But, like your penis, it does make a great gag gift...

O. Oh. O-oh. Uh-oh. Oh boy, Oh boy! The big O. Ohhhh, baby. In my march through the alphabet of gift-giving (and letter-specific scores for yourself) we've gotten to the Os. O. M. G...

Boxes in a Box Prank Gift

$38.99 Amazon »

Uh, is the price of the Boxes in a Box Prank Gift a prank too? And here's the other thing: while in an abstract sense I like the idea of watching someone get increasingly frustrated opening a packing product Russian Doll...

Automatic Domino Train Set

Sold Out Amazon »

Letting an Automatic Domino Train build all your kids' domino runs for them prevents them from practicing key physical and mental skills. Hand-eye coordination. Visual perception. Problem-solving. Concentration. Patience...

Gamma Clarity 40Hz Meditation Light Bulb

$59.99 Amazon »

Just to clarify, it's clarity this light bulb provides? So like, a literal figurative light bulb moment? Ha! OK, Gamma Clarity. Send your 40Hz Meditation Light Bulb this dude's way...

Pep Talk Generator Poster

$12.95 Amazon »

Holiday stress and depression. Recession gloom. Anger over your favorite movies and TV shows vanishing from HBO Max. Methinks 2023 is gonna be the Year of the Pep Talk. Oh, hey, here's a Pep Talk Generator Poster to help...

These 14 condiments and toppings will make you want to grab a steak. Or a cupcake. Some chicken. Some waffles. Some chicken & waffles. Ice cream, tacos, burgers, fries...what, your belly don't have room for all that?...

The Bartender's Manifesto

$18.69 Amazon »

Whoa. Check out The Bartender's Manifesto's Guide to Citrus Garnish Styles section. I am amazed. Not only at the number of citrus garnish styles in existence, but also in how this manual of How to Think, Drink, and Create...

ZWILLING Enfinigy Personal Blender

$93.99 Amazon »

I cannot pronounce the name of the ZWILLING Enfinigy Personal Blender...well, I mean, except for the "personal blender" part...but no matter. My mouth is perfectly capable of doing much better things than pronouncing...

E170: What Is This Thing?

$11.72 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 170 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

A Book For a C*nt

$12.72 Etsy »

I like how right underneath the A Book For a C*nt heading in its Etsy listing, there's the denotation that this product is a "Bestseller." Ha! I guess everyone has a c*unt in their life they need to buy A Book For a C*nt...

Maple Stream Sprayable Maple Syrup

Sold Out Amazon »

Milk for Santa's cookies? Lame. This year I'm leaving out a can of Maple Stream instead, and letting 7 fluid ounces of sprayable maple syrup help him wash down the peanut butter blossoms, Corn Flake wreaths, and gingerbread...

Peugeot Clef du Vin Wine Aging Tool

$38.34 Amazon »

The Peugeot Clef du Vin Wine Tool claims it can age a wine one year for every second its "patented metal alloy" is in contact with the liquid. Wow. Now I know metals, and their alloy offsprings, are amazing - I mean...

Vintage Bookshelf Board Games

$39.95 - $439 Amazon »

These Vintage Bookshelf Board Games from WS Game Company are, to quote the late, great Chris Farley, awesome! I mean, have a gander yourself. Vintage Monopoly folded and packed up all tidy to look like a book: awesome!...

Some of these 17 gifts for the random people at the end of your list are practical. Useful. Bland and universal - you could gift them to anyone. And other are...let's just say as random as the randos who will be receiving them...

MSCHF's Big Fruit Loop

$19.99 MSCHF »

Are you ready for a half-pound, 930-calorie Fruit Loop? No, not half a pound and 930 calories worth of Froot Loops*, a single Fruit Loop weighing 6.7 ounces and packing 930 cals into the happy...but maybe turning sad...

PlantOGram Live Frantoio Olive Container Tree

$108.55 Amazon »

Oooh, freshly picked olives from...your living room? If you decide to keep PlantOGram's live Frantoio Olive Container Tree indoors, yep. Freshly picked olives direct from your living room. Olive it!...

Tenuto Mini - The Ring You Both Say 'Oh Yes' To

$134 Mystery Vibe »

From MysteryVibe: You wear it on your penis. And it vibrates. Not what you expected? Well, expect an unbelievably good time with the new male vibrator that turns you into her favorite vibrator - Tenuto Mini. It's pocket-sized...

Dude's 2022 Holiday Gift Guides mimic the days of Christmas this year - you know, there are 12 of them, dudes. Most are your standard fare of Gifts for Men, Gifts for Women, Gifts for Dad, Gifts for Mom, Stocking Stuffers, et. al. But those of you who who come 'round here often know I couldn't leave...

Dinosaur Hanukkah Menorah

$59.99 Amazon »

I wouldn't have named it the Dinosaur Hanukkah Menorah. I would have called it the T-Rex Dinosorah. But, I don't work for Zion Judaica Ltd, and I'm not "Margarita," the person who designed this cretaceous candle holder...

Wood & Magnetic Ball Bearing Watch

Discontinued

Dudes, do you feel time passing by? No? Well. You're either too young, or you've never touched a magnetic ball bearing watch before. The first one I ever saw, the Bradley Tactile Watch, was originally made with the blind...