Private Gym Penis Trainer (NSFW)

Posted: November 18, 2016

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Purchase Details

$99.99

Private Gym helps you work out the one body part HIIT, spin class, boot camp, and personal trainers all neglect. (Well. Unless you have a really good, really, hands-on, really hot personal trainer.) This 8-week strength and fitness program for your third leg includes a DVD with instructional and training videos, plus a resistance band and additional detachable weight plate. Stick with it and Private Gym says it will build you a boner of steel capable of achieving orgasms more powerful than the Hulk wearing MARK XLVI.

A comprehensive sexual health program, Private Gym also aims to prevent premature ejaculation, enable greater ejaculatory force, support bladder control, alleviate incontinence, and improve prostate health.

Click here to head over to Amazon and check Private Gym out, or keep reading for more of the hard(on) facts.

Private Gym combines a mantra of "Squeeze and release" with an FDA-registered DVD workout program designed to strengthen your pelvic muscles. Just as doctors encourage women to perform Kegel exercises, men's lower abdominal and groin areas can greatly benefit from focused contraction and calibrated movement as well.

Private Gym creators have collaborated with urologists, physiotherapists, and sexual health experts to develop this kit, which they say is "guaranteed to improve sexual performance, urinary conditions and prostate health." They also note the penis trainer has been proven to prevent and reverse man's #1 most common sexual shortcoming: premature ejaculation.

Aw, come on! It only happens when I accidentally think of Margot Robbie making out with Jennifer Lawrence in a buckskin hammock before thrust #10!

Private Gym's 8-week program DVD (plus free online access to additional training videos) guides men through regional muscle building exercises. Some are equipment-free, while others incorporate the Private Gym's expandable resistance ring and, eventually, its attachable magnetic weight. Once overachieving penises have completed a 4-week Basic Program, they begin a 4-week resistance program, using the weight to execute more advanced exercises.

Upon mastering the Penis Dead Lift, Private Gym clients will receive a Certificate of Achievement and an invite to take part in either product infomercials or high budget pornos.

At least I hope so.

Get your own Private Gym with Amazon Prime shipping here.

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